User:Geearewhy/Numb33

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DRAFT page for Numbers 33, Parshat Massei

Old Testament
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Leaving Egypt

1 Tehse are teh journeys (what iz this, Star Trek?) of teh Kittehs of Israel from their departure from Egypt by their pods, by the paw of Moses Cat and Aaron Cat.2 And Moses Cat was in ur scroll writing down ur departures by teh journeys at the miaos of Ceiling Cat, and tehse are teh journeys by their departures.

The Departure

3 And teh went AFK from Ra'mses on 15-01, just after the Pesach; teh Kittehs of Israel left with a mighty paw, IN YER FACE EGYPT!4 And teh Egyptians were mourning, for Ceiling Cat had killed all their first-born kittehs (oh noes!) as Ceiling Cat's judgement on their Pyramid Cats.

The Journey

5 And teh Kittehs of Israel wnet AFK from Ra'mses and nested at Sukkot.6 And they went AFK from Sukkot and nested in Etam at teh edje of the big wide open.7 And tehy went AFK from Etam and stayed by Hahirot before Baal-Tzfon, and nested at Migdol.8 And theh wnet AFK from Hahirot and passed by the edge of the watrz along the big wide open, going tehree dayz into teh big wide open of Etam, and nested in Marah.9 And they went AFK from Marah and nested at Elimah; and in Elim there were 12 watrzbowls and 70 cheeseburgers; and they nested there.10 And they went AFK from Elim and nested at the Reed Sea.


11 And they went AFK from the Reed Sea and nested in the big wide open of Sin.12 And they went AFK from the big wide open of Sin and nested in Dofkah.

13 And they went AFK from Dofkah and nested at Elush.14 And they went AFK from Elush and nested at Refidim, where oh noes! there was no watrz for teh kittehs to drink.15 And they went AFK from Refidim and nested in the big wide open of Sinai.16 And they went AFK from the big wide open of Sinai and nested at Kivrot-Hataavah. (oh mai, this is teh long walk!)17 And they went AFK from Kivrot-Hataavah and nested at Hatzerot.18 And they went AFK from Hatzerot and nested at Ritmah.19 And they went AFK from Ritmah and nested at Rimon-Paretz.20 And they went AFK from Rimon-Paretz and nested at Livnah.21 And they went AFK from Livnah and nested at Risah.22 And they went AFK from Risah and nested at Q'helatah.23 And they went AFK from Q'helatah and nested at hte big hill Shafer.24 And they went AFK from hte big hill Shafer and nested at Haradah.25 And they went AFK from Haradah and nested at Maq'helot.26 And they went AFK from Maq'helot and nested at Tahat. (u trai herding many many cats!)27 And they went AFK from Tahat and nested at Tarakh.28 And they went AFK from Tarakh and nested at Mitqah.29 And they went AFK from Mitqah and nested at Hashmonah.30 And they went AFK from Hashmonah and nested at Moserot.31 And they went AFK from Moserot and nested with the Kittehs of Ya'akan.32 And they went AFK from the Kittehs of Ya'akan and nested at teh big hill Gidgad.33 And they went AFK from teh big hill Gidgad and nested at Yot'vatah.34 And they went AFK from Yot'vatah and nested at Avronah.35 And they went AFK from Avronah and nested at Etzyon Gaver.36 And they went AFK from Etzyon Gaver and nested in the big wide open of Tzin, at Qadesh.37 And they went AFK from Qadesh and nested at teh big hill Hor by Edom.
38 And Aaron the Priest Cat climbed up teh big hill Hor, as Ceiling Cat told him to do, and died there. It was 40-05-01 since the Kittehs of Israel left Egypt.39 And Aaron Cat died at age 123 on teh big hill Hor.

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