Song of Solomon 4

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Old Testament
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1 U iz so cute!
 U iz so hawt!
 Ur eyez iz liek birdz,
 an ur hair iz liek goatz
 comin down teh mountin. Datz hawt.
2 Ur teefz iz liek sheep
 dat just hadded a baff.
 Liek twin sheep,
 bcz non of ur teefz iz missin.
3 Ur lipz iz red;
 ur mouth iz hawt.
 Ur butt
 iz liek a peech.
4 Ur neck iz liek a towr,,
 a pretti wun;
 wif 1,000 sheeldz hangin on it,
 from spartanz.
5 Ur tittehs iz liek babi deer,
 twinz evn,
 dat eatz flowrz.
6 Until teh sun comz up
 an it gets liet,
 I wil go to teh mountin of catnip
 an teh hill of insense (datz u).
7 U iz perfekt;
 dere iz nothin rong wif u.
8 Com wif me from Lebanon,
 liek i sez, com wif me from Lebanon.
 Com down offa teh mounten,
 enni mountin u happenz to be on,
 out of teh lionz housiz
 an teh leprdz housiz too.
9 I luvz u;
 u stoleded mai hart
 wif ur briet eyez,
 an ur sparkli collar.
10 Luvin u iz so graet,
 bettr dan getting waszted,
 an u smel niec too.
11 Ur lipz haz a flavor
 an ur tung too.
 U smell realli good.
12 U iz liek a pussysekrit gardin,
 or maybi a fountain dat bin hid.
13 U iz liek treez
 wif lotz of differnt frootz,
 all kiendz,
15 U iz liek a drinkin bowl,
 teh kiend wif teh built-in watr fountin.

Beloved

16 Get outa bed, norf wind!,
 An teh souf wind too!
 Blow on mai pussygardin,
 so evriwun can smell how niec it iz.
 Let teh cat i liekz com into mai pussygardin
 an eat all teh frootz, dey is tasti.

Song of Solomon 4
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