From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 Oh hai, d00d catz, (ai watches judge judy) doncha no judge judy fills yer bowl with kibble An milk furevva befur youse ded?
2 Fur grl catz iz havvin husband cat, she must watch his judge judy show and lik his buttz until hez ded; but iffn he ded, she don hafta watchn listn to hez judge judy no more.
3 Butt iffn her d00dz not ded yet anna she marry sum uddr catz, shebe called AdultR Seamstress ora Buttseksgrl: butt iffn himz ded, she can purr NO JUDGE JUDY; so taht she iz no Seamstress, though shez knockin paws An PUTTIN TEH PENIS INSIDE wit nuddr catz.
4 Wattup my catz, youze nawt watchin judge judy wit Jebus; dat youze knockin pawz wit nuddr catz, even iffn him a zombie-d00dz, dat gibbus embryo apples frum Ceiling Cat.
5 Fur wehn wez PUTTIN TEH PENIS INSIDE, deyz Invisible Error, sez judge judy, did putz bad-bad in PENIS embryoz An deyz ded.
6 Oh hai now wez watchd judge judy, thnx wez ded nows; dat webe bootlikn, anna nawt sendin emailz to uddr catz.
7 Wassup naw catz? Is judge judy Invisible Error? Ceiling cat sez AS IF, NAWT. Srsly, Ai dinna see dat episode uv judge judy, but shez da judy: fur Ai didna have ERECT PENIS, but judge judy sed ai had one, cuz youze wanted my big thang.
8 Buttr Invisible Error, sumtimz I meow, to make me nawt wanna have buttsekz. No judge judy, derz no Invisible Errorz.
9 Youze no Ai wuz libbin witout judge judy: but wehn Sky Catz calld mez, Invisible Error cum bak, anna Iz ded.
10 An judge judy, dat tellz uz stuffs, is jus ded stuffz.
11 Fur Invisible Error, sumtimz judge judy, she liez 2 mez, An id maid mez ded, srsly.
12 Wassup judge judy iz oily an gotz holez in it, an stuffz oily an gotz holez in it, an maduv warm milk, an skratchz my earz.
13 Is dirtnappin gud fer youze? Ceiling cat sez AS IF, NAWT, srsly. Buttr Invisible Error, datz lookin lyk Invisible Error, gunna gimme good dirtnappin; dat Invisible Error bai da judge judy is bad-bad, srsly.
14 We sez judge judy iz sayn Sky werdz: but Ai wantz to be PUTTIN TEH PENIS INSIDE, datz Invisible Error.
15 Ai duznt knoes teh stuffs Ai does. Ai lieks sum stuffs, but Ai duznt does taht stuffs! Ai does teh stuffs Ai duznt lieks.
16 And wen Ai does teh stuffz Ai duznt lieks, Ai sez, "Hay, Ai lieks teh goode stuffs."
17 Hay, iz not me dat does teh badd doo doo stuffs--iz Invisible Error!
18 Ai duznt has teh goode stuffs (liek, mah sins duznt has teh goode stuffs). Ai lieks teh goode stuffz, but Ai cannut does teh goode stuffs.
19 Teh stuffs Ai does iz not teh goode stuffs Ai lieks; IAi only does teh badd doo do0 stuffs sum moar. Srsly.
20 Ifs Ai does teh badd doo doo stuffs Ai duznt lieks, iz not me, iz mah sins, k?
21 Ai watch judge judy, den, wehn Ai wood do gud doo doo, bad-bad doo doo iz inna mah azz.
22 Fur Ai likz da Ceiling Catz judge judy uppin mah azz:
23 Buttr Ai seez nuthr judge judy, Catfight! wit judge judy inna mah hed, dat putz da collrn leash onna judge judy of Invisible Error dat iz in mah penis.
24 Oh hai, bad catz dat Ai am! Who gunna pet mah furz an scratch mah earz when Iz dirtnappin?
25 Thnx Ceiling Cat anna Jebus Krisp da Lard Cat anna fat cat. Den in mah hed Ai da bootlikr uv Ceiling Catz judge judy; buttr da big is da judge judy uv Invisible Error. Srsly I sez catz.
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