Romans 5

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Happy Kittyz Wehn Dogz Bark

1 Lissenup, youse yammerin, wez miawing bout Ceiling Cat anna Kitten Jebus,2 we seez Invisible Water Dish anna graze inna littrboxz, anna miaw-miaw to da Ceiling Cat.3 More d00dz, webe yammerin bouts Tribbles, anna Trouble Wit Tribbles (datbe da Staw Twek, Season 2, Episode 15) makus gud catz;4 anna keeps doon it, nice earz; anna nice paws, noses.5 Miaws summore, slavin ta Ceiling Cat iz gud an youse bin miawin to da Hover Cat, gud fur youse, srsly.

Jebus mai seyvier in Ours Littrboxz

6 Youse be weak kittyz, wen da Jebus did da dirtnap fur da athiesties.7 Goody two-pawz didda dirtnap; wood youse dirtnap fur da nice d00dz too.8 Buttz Ceiling Cat scratchz our earz, even wehn wez poopd onna floor, Jebus hung onna nailz fur uz.

9 Lookey, dirtnap boogie, we not RAWR-RAWR cauz da Jebus.10 Wen we poked his earz we miawed to dat Ceiling Cat bout da nailin of Jebus, Catfight!, scratchy earz, we drinkd warm milk den, srsly.11 Mor stuffz, we miawed happy Ceiling Cat anna Kittn Jebus Krisp, demz gibbin uz lotsa cheezburgz fur ettin anna warm milk. link title

Adam's Dirtnap, Jebus Lives

12 Lissenup, I tellyuz one bad catz, anna dirtnap by Invisible Error, anna all catz ded, lotsa Invisible Error—13 (Judge judy sez Invisible Error iz inna littrboxz, but Invisible Error still doin stuff even if not watchn judge judy.14 Dirtnaps fur evry catz frum Adam to Moses, An demz too who et da applz lik Adam, whoze lik a Ceiling Cat who comes purring anna yammerin.

15 But a freebee iz notta furball. For iffn one cat koffs uppa furball many bit da dust, much more da graze uv Ceiling Cat anna new freebee frum one d00d kittn, Jebus Krisp, gibbin to all youse.16 Anna freebee iz not a big furball. For da judge judy frum one furball wuz bad-bad, but the freebee frum many furballz izza new TV show, judge millz lane.17 Fur iffn one catz furball cauzez dirtnappin, many many many more furballs willbe koffd up and da graze of freebee cheezbrgrz will be inna food dish frum da d00d, da One, Jebus Krisp.

18 Lissenup, one catz stuck furball maked uz sick, we don lik dat, even gibbin gud stuffz da freebee goes to all catz, makin no sense to mees, yammerin srsly.19 One bad cat made many furball koffz, anna by one gud cat make nice bowl of kibble, sum warm milk anna cheezbrgrz, srsly.

20 Lissenup judge judy sed furballz git stuck sumtimz. But iffn lotza furballz, graze sum more,21 so dat Invisible Error made dirtnapz, da graze youse be seein tru good kittyz anna furevva livin frum Kitty Jebus Krisp, our Lard cat, our fat cat.

Romans 5
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