Romans 1

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New Testament

Paul Sez Hai

1 Dis r a letr frum Paul cuz Ceiling Cat askt me tells about teh Gud Nuuz.2 R teh same Gud Nuuz dat Ceiling Cat sed a long tiem ago in teh holi skripchurs.3 Teh Gud Nuuz r about teh Baybeh Jebus, who huz grate grate grate grate grate grandson uf King David,4 an we can knows he r teh son uf Ceiling Cat cuz he wuz ded, then zomg, he r alive.5 So Ceiling Cat ses we haf to tell evrbdy wat he did, an then they can obeh.

6 An Jebus, he r callsing all uf u.7 I is writing to evrybdy in Rome who Ceiling Cat luvs. An may Ceiling Cat gives u cheezbrgrs an u can has cookiez.

Teh Gud Nuuz

8 Furst, I thx to Ceiling Cat for u. Evrbody ses u has gud faith.9 If teh sun r up, or teh moon r up, I pray for u always an Ceiling Cat heers me cuz I srvs him and tells teh Gud Nuuz.10 An I prays to go see u all11 cuz I wants to hang out an halp u srv Ceiling Cat.12 An then I can halp u an u can halp me.

13 I tryed to visit u lots of tiems but I never cud. Monorail Cat was deraild an stuffs. But I wants to!14 Becuz even if ur stoopid, or if ur smrts, I haf to halp u.15 So I wants to go 2 Rome an tells teh Gud Nuuz.

16 Am not emberess uf teh Gud Nuuz becuz it meens Ceiling Cat uzes his invisible powerz fore all huu believe: first fore teh kat, tehn fore teh rest ov y'all.17 An then if we has fayth then Ceiling Cat ses we r gud. An that r like teh skripchurs sed, "Gud ppl haf life thru fayth."

Ceiling Cat DO NOT WANT teh Invisible Errors

18 If u has teh invisible errors, an u hides truth, u maek Ceiling Cat mad, k?19 Ceiling Cat shows us wut is tru.20 Wen Ceiling Cat maed teh urths, ppls cud see he has invisible powers, an so they has no excus.21 They dun thx Ceiling Cat. An they wuz confusd.22 They sed "Am smrt," but reeli r stoopid.23 They dun wurship Ceiling Cat. They wurship teh idols like Booda, but he eets too mani cheezbrgrs. Wy u wanna wurship him?

24 So Ceiling Cat ses FIEN! BE DAT WAY!25 An so they wurship stoopid idols an not Ceiling Cat.26 An Ceiling Cat let them do bad fings and mani invisible errors. An they had ebil secks that wuz bad.27 They even had ebil ghey secks and stuffs.

28 Evrbody thot Ceiling Cat was stoopid, so Ceiling Cat let thm do stoopid stuff dat they shuldnt do!29 Ebil wikkid stuff liek killsing an fites an lies an gosip.30 They iz prowd an meen an they hates Ceiling Cat.31 They dun keep promis, if they ses u can has cookie, an then eets it, an they stolend teh Lolrus's bukkit.32 They knows Ceiling Cat ses it r bad but they does it anywai.

Romans 1
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