Psalm 91

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Old Testament
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1 U dat iz in seekrit box wif Ceiling Cat iz under All-Pwnzer

2 Sez uv Ceiling Cat, iz mah under-cowch an bukkit, an i gots trust in him

3 Iz gonna saev U frum teh spyderwebz an frum teh vakuum cleenr.

4 Him iz can cuvr U wif fethrs an under hiz wings U iz safe (Ceiling Cat iz burd?) Hiz truth is can be ur bukkit.

5 U iz not skeerd uv big skaries in nite, r the bad kittehs in the day

6 Or teh dogz in teh drkness, r of bafftiem.

7 1000 can haz fall dwn, 10000 goz bum, but not u! Srsly.

8 U just see teh bad kittehs getz pwnd, k?

9 C u maded Ceiling Cat ur howz (hez mah bukkit, hez so kewl);

10 No bad stuffz can pwn you lol, no herpiz up in ur houz 4 real.

11 He iz making hiz angels watch ovr u wif mad skillz, dey keepz u safe evrywhere (even on teh toilet!)

12 Dere pawz iz holding u up so u don getz owiez.

13 U can stomp teh lions and teh lolruses, teh baby lionses and teh vakuum cleenrs u can squish dem wid ur paw.

14 C, he setted hiz luv on me teh Ceiling Cat, so il save him kthx. He can haz top of shelf cuz he noes mai naym.

15 Wen he sez "Hay r u dere?" il be liek "Oh, Hai!". In teh bad tiems il be dere, il save him an giv cookies.

16 He can haz nine long liefs an c wen i saveded him kthxbai.

Psalm 91
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