Psalm 31

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1 In yu, o Ceiling Cat, ai haides; dis kitteh dont want to be fownd in littrboxz. Plez send meh to ur richoushnessh ov cookiez an burdiez!!

2 Ai azkin srsly! Make meh monorail kitteh, safe abuv othr kittehs.

3 3-5 Ai has a seekrit. Plez comez findz meh! Plez beh sofa so ai can haides, plez be meh haidysofa. Plez keep dis kitteh away from teh trapz.

6 6-13 I haz no leikz fah evewythin but yu, Ceiling Cat. I mew songs ov yu! Ai give yu all meh cheezburgers! Yu make meh safe abuv othr kittehs. Safe from dem all wais. Thx fah bein sofa. Ai luv yu Ceiling Cat an givz yu all meh cookiz!! Oh noes! Dere is trap! Be meh sofaz agen! Ai mew fah yu, cuz teh kittehs fink ai haz uglies! Ai haz embarrusin! Dey wishen I wuz ded bi diseez! Dey wishen ai wuz in de toylut bowl! Ded bonse ai wish ai wuz! Mai bonse waisted awai cuz ai iz mewing awl dai lawng. Ai haid in sofa frum dem agen. Ceiling Cat iz mai sofa.

14 14-18 Awlwais, yu haides meh frum Basement Cat's minyunz. Yu givs meh blankit an fudz an cuddlee. Yu savz meh cuz yu luvs meh. Plez to haz embarrusinz on teh ivil kittehs? Maek dem in the littrboxz! Plez for dem to say "Wai? Wtf?" Dey call fah meh bad namz an ai mew fah yu! Dey laff at meh frum the toylut bowl an wantz meh in der wif dem!

19 19-22 Yu give meh cookiez! Yu rly Ceiling Cat! Ai run to yu an yu haidz meh. An yu haidz awl teh kittehs dat run to yu! All cheezburgers fah Ceiling Cat! Yu make othr kittehs be fownd in littrboxz, but not teh kittehs dat givz yu cheezburger! Yu herd mai mew. Yu grab meh an heer mai mew.

23 Luv Ceiling Cat kittehs! Ceiling Cat haidz yu an meh, srsly!

24 Yu haz RAWR when Ceiling Cat iz on ur side! He iz here to beh haidysofa!

Old Testament
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Psalm 31
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