Psalm 116

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Old Testament

1 I luvs CEILING CAT, cuz he has hearded my mews and my meows.

2 Cuz he tiltz his ear to mee, therefor I will mew to him until I diez.

3 Sadz bout death rap round mee liek blankie, oucheez of hell gets hold of my scruff: I findz trublz and sadz evrywherz.

4 Den I mews in name of CEILING CAT; O, CEILING CAT, pleez, I can has delivered soul?

5 Gracious iz CEILING CAT, and osum; yea, our Cat has mercee.

6 The CAT savez da simpul: I wuz made low-liek, and he helpded mee.

7 Keep napping, O mai soul; for CEILING CAT has givn you comfy place and full belly for good sleepin.

8 For yoo savez mai soul from deff, mai eyez from cri, mai pawz from falling.

9 I will walk before the CEILING CAT in the land of the living.

10 I think troo, so I speeks: I waz hurt much:

11 I sez in mah hurt, all peeps are liars.

12 CEILING CAT givez me cheezburger, wut I give him?

13 I takez water bol of salvationz and call on CEILING CAT.

14 In frunt ov evrybodee I say I wurship CEILING CAT.

15 Wen CEILING CAT seez gud peeps die, he callz dem "Mah Preshous."

16 O CEILING CAT, truly I am only gud to lick your ears, I am only gud to lick your ears.

17 I will give awai mah cheezburger and mah bukkit and call on yoo.

18 I will give awai mah cheezburger and mah bukkit so all peeps can see it.

19 In the courts of the CAT's hous, in the middul of thee, O Jerusalem. Praise ye the CAT.

Psalm 116
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