Proverbs 30

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Old Testament
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Teh Wurdz ov Agur

1 deez b teh wurdz of agur son of jakeh so lissen up k?

2 "i b stoopid gai.

3 I not lern teh wizdumz or lissen to teh wurdz of teh ceiling cat - I iz not a kOOl dOOd!

4 hoo haz gon 2 ceiling n cum bak?
hoo can holdz teh windz in hiz pawz?
hoo can haz waterz in hiz furz an not be skweelin an craiin?
hoo made endz of urfs? (not rly lol urfs b round n not haz endz)
wot b dis dOODz name and wot b hiz sonz name?
can u tellz mi?

5 Ceiling catz wurdz be awsum he be protektin yu from teh wikidniss

6 Don be changin himz wurdz or he no bout it an be mad - kthx

7 too fingz i wantz from teh CeilingCat plz b lissenin clohs an not say no befour I iz dyin

8 not let mi hear liez. also let mi eetz evry dai but not giv mi 2 much muneez

9 cuz too much iz bad mite forget hoo CeilingCat b (DO NOT WANT) n 2 little also bad cuz stealing rong and make CeilingCat sad.

10 not to b sayin nasti fingz to peepelz hoo ownz servent cuz he not b happi lol an u will kno.

11 der b doez hoo sez bad fingz about ther daddeh an not say nise fingz about mommeh.

12 doez hoo b finkin dey all nise an gud - BUT DEY NOT SRSLY - dey iz havin durtee furz an smellin bad - srsly

13 doze hoo hav ieez dat onlee luk up n giv evrywan els funny luks.

14 doze who hav sharp teets an nasti pointee fangz. hoo eetz poor peepelz from urfz eetz peepelz hoo iz havin nufin

15 teh leechy kitteh haz 2 dawtor kittehz hoo olwaiz showtin giv meh moar, giv meh moar. Der b twee fingz wich nevur be happi wif wat dey iz gettin an fowr who iz nevur havin enuf

16 teh graiv (wer we keeps teh bodeez of teh ded kittehz)
wimminz who cant hav childrunz
lands wif no waterz
an hot fierz wich iz burning pawz an furz an kitteh hawses an all dem fings

17 teh gai hoo givs daddehs funni luks n dosent lissen to mommehs, ebil birdz wil com to yu an not teh nise kind for chaisin an eetin or givin yur peepels as prezziez, big black ebil birdz dat coms to hurts yu an eet yur ieez - srsly (ouchiez)

18 Twee fings wich iz too gud for meh an fowr I iz too dum too get.

19 teh wai wen birdeez iz jumpin off teh tweez dey iz stayin in teh airz an not fallin liek kittehz.
teh wai snaiks is waukin wifowt pawz.
fingz dat iz liekin to stay in waterz.
and teh way menz n wimminz iz carryin on wen de wiminz iz in heet.

20 wimminz hoo b hoes b all liek: "i dun nuthin rong PENIS GOES WHERE wit other manz b just like eetin."

21 ther b 3 thingz makez urfz shake an fowr wich iz deestroiin it

22 wen serventz bcums king
teh idiot hoo haz eeten too much an iz gettin all fat an not abelz to wauks an jumpz an stuffs

23 teh unluvved wimminz hoo marry
n teh wimminservant hoo iz bein hoe an iz havin teh secks wif her mistriss husban

24 fowr fingz b vewee small but also haz lotz ov smartz.

{{ |25=antz b tiny an not hav musels but dey iz olwaiz havin bukits full wif cheezburgerz }}

26 straynj critter calld rok bajers hav no powrz but b livin in holez in big hai mowntens

27 flaiin bugz haz no king but haz big hooj armeez

28 lizardz b eezy 2 cach but livz in hawse wif teh king

29 twee fings dat iz waukin all posh n stuffs an fowr dat iz waukin liek day ownz teh plais

30 teh lion (hoo reelee b big cat y?)he b rawrin (liek big lowd miaowz) an skairin all teh uver animalz

{{ |31=teh man chikin hoo fink he so kOOl
teh mangoet
n teh king in teh middel ov hiz armiez }}

32 if u b dum n praiz yurself or if yu b finkin teh ebil bad fingz den yu iz to keep yur trapz shut an not speek - SRSLY!!!

33 cuz liek stirring teh yummi milkz iz maikin teh eben yumier butterz an a bonkin on teh noes maik kitteh hurt pokin peepelz iz startin faitz""

Proverbs 30
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