Proverbs 27

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1 Not giv self hugsies bout teh toonah ov toomoroh,
for teh bignes ov toomorohs kach UDK.

2 Let uver kittehs purr for yu,
Not purr for wanz self.

3 Rocks r hevvies an lotz ov kitteh littr b trubil,
But b ruffld bai stoopid cat b wurst.

4 Raff is mean and angrees liek big scairee fundrstorm, But hoo can be befoar teh jelly seas?

5 Is moar okai to skwert wiff watter,
Den to has a secrit luv.

6 iz okai if ur frens gives you a scraches,
But smoochies from nmees ar prolly just kidin.

7 A happicat b hatin' teh hunnies,
But to a hungriecat all teh fings taste like cheezburger.

8 Liek a burd hoo goes 2 far frum himz nest an gets eated bai kitteh iz peepel hoo goes 2 far frum himz hawse .

9 Fings dat has a gud smell maeks a happee hart,
And bffs maeks peepel happee 2.

10 Do not b meen 2 ur bffs or ur daddies bffs,
Or go 2 chill at ur broverz hause wen dere b bad fings fore j00;
Bettr iz a bff next door tehn a brover hoo livez far awai, srsly.

11 My kittunz, maek me proud soz when peepelz maek fun ov me i can sez "STFU n00b, my kittens iz bettr then urs!!"

12 Good kittehs seez the bad stuffs dats gonna happen and gtfo;
n00bz sez "Dood.. wait wut?" and den git pwned.

13 If yu iz havin lotsa cheezburgerz an iz bein nise kitteh an lendin sum to peepels hoo needs it den yu mus haz teh wizdumz an wen kitteh iz borrowin yur cheezburgerz yu iz keepin himz best collar till he iz payin yu bak, an if kitteh iz borrowin sum to giv to hookerz den yu iz nevur given him bak himz collar! SRSLY!!!

14 If you sez "O HAI!!," to sumwan rilly lowd befoar n00n iz liek callen himz a rilly bad naemz! SRSLY.

15 Laydeez be liek teh rayns, wich get teh kittehs wet wen dey b wynin at teh menz all day;

16 If yu iz maekin her be kwiet den it b liek maekin winds stop blowin an havin teh oylz in yur paws.

17 Teh scraching posts sharpen ur claws Jus lyke mens sharpn teh mynds of udder mens.

18 Teh kitteh hoo growz teh catnip will get teh leaves, an kitteh hoo bring prezzi ov ded burdz an maises to himz hoomanz gets lots of cheezburgerz.

19 Like da shinie fings sho j00 how perty j00 ar menz can see happi dey b maekin sumwan wen dey b nise to dem.

20 Ebil floor cat nevur b havin enuff frendz cos he ebil greedi cat hoo wantin gud kittehz to be bad, jus liek greedi kittehz iz nevur bein happi!

21 Teh skale is for fatties an teh rulr ar for inches,
An ur n00bage is mezurd by whut ur bffs say bout j00.

22 foolz iz foolz SRSLY nufing yu do iz changen dis!

23 werk hardz an yu pleez ceiling cat kthx

24 cheezburgerz not last furevur so be injoyin dem wen yu iz havin dem

25 Wen teh hoomanz iz taikin all teh pOOps owt ov yur litur trai an iz fillin it up wif teh nise kleen litur

26 den yu iz abel to go poop wifowt holdin yur noes

27 an yu no dat yur hooman luv yu an olwaiz maek shor yu iz havin teh nise kleen litur box

Proverbs 27
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