Proverbs 24

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Old Testament

1 Kittehs musnt be jeluz of bad kittes
 or wont to fit in wid dem.

2 Dey r bad kittehs and der <3's wontz fiets
 and dey alwhays meow
  abowt being naughty.

3 Hows's r made by smartitude
 and thru undahstanding,
  it iz started.

4 Thru wut da kitteh noes, da roomz
  are stuffed wid
 valuable tings kittehs not see vedy much.

5 A clevah cat is strong,
 and a cat wid a brayn
  gets strongah;
6 U need guide to fiet in da wars
 and need lotz of kitterhelpers to tell u hou to win.

7 Being smart is way to hardz for a stewpit kitteh;
 wen kittehs get togetah at doors,
  dey haf nuffingz to say.

8 Bad kittehs who plan to do bad tingz
 willz be nown az a bad-plottah-kitteh
9 Da plans of idi-it kittehs are invisible errahs
 and uddah kittahs hate kittahs hoo maek fun of uddahs
10 fraidy-kittehs no haz powerz!!!1

11 Save teh kittehs who goz now to die (WTF);
  Be carefulz wiffs kittehz who are d00med!

12 If joo iz leik, "But we no know,srsly" Willz teh kittehs wiff hartz not see it, ferrealz??
 What aboutz Ceiling Kitteh? Does he not know, 2?
 Won't Ceiling Cat do stuffz wiff his powerz liek he seez fit? DON'T BE BAD KITTEH!

13 Eatz milkz cuz Milkz iz good fer use! (evn if yous liek cheezburger, ferrealz!)
14 Jooz shuld knows what iz gud ferz teh Kitteh, cuz if joo knowz you can alwayz haz cheezburger!

15 Don't attakz or stealz frum a Good Kitteh,
 cuz that maeks Use a BAD KITTEH SRSLY!!!!!11 (WTF)

16 Good Kittehs get up wen dey fallz,
 but BAD KITTEHZ NO GETZ BACKZ UP, and stuffz.
17 NO BE BAD KITTEH BY BEZ LEIK I-Bettahz-dan-joo-Kitteh!
18 Iffz Use duz dat, Ceiling Cat will beez leik: "BAD KITTEH" and he will hitz Use wiffs NOOZPaepr, and stuffz, srsly.

19 Do not, leik, be fraid of BAD KITTEHZ, or wantz to be BAD KITTEHZ!
20 Cuz Bad Kittehz waz no haz Cheezburgerz,
  and he willz also diez, leik Pwned,
 cuz he bad and stuffz,srsly.

21 You shud be scaird of da Ceiling Cat, Kitteh!
 Dont plehy wiff da bad kittehz! SRSLY!
22 Cuz thos kittehz wil be leik extreh bad for joo,
 Dus U no know what bad things the bad kittehs dus, SRSLY?
 This iz wat wise-Kittehz ses, and stuf.

23 Wise Kitteh wus also ses this:
 cuz being no fair is bad fer da kittehz in kitteh-courtz:
24 cuz whenever a BAD KITTEH ses, "goodzjob, Kthnxbai" to another BAD KITTEN (ZOMG)—
 All duh good Kittehs wuld be leik : "WE NO LEIK! SRSLY!"
25 But duh BAD KITTEHS will leik it,
 and good things can happen to duh Bad Kittehz!.

1 26 Tellin' duh troofs
 do it: Cuz itz leik maekin' out!

27 Do your Kitteh chores
 and get ready wiff yo gardenz;
 then build yor haus (cuz ceiling cat ses so! FTW!).

28 No tellz on naypurr-kittehs for LULZ,
 and no tells lies, plz.
29 No sayz, "I will be bad kitteh and be mean cuz he did;
 I willz getz mai revengenses."

30 I had gos past Lazy-catz gardenz,
 I went and saw the grape-gardenz of the Lazy-kitteh;
31 Pokies had come up all ovah da plase,
 the ground wus leik all covud wiff weeds,
 and the stone wall wus broked, and stuff.
32 Soz I learnded a less-on:

33 If use takes a Kitteh-Naps,bad things will happen!
34 You will be poor cuz a Bad Kitteh tookded all your stuffz;
  and you will be sad cuz you will no have a good cheezburger, SRSLY.

Proverbs 24
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