Proverbs 15

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Old Testament
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1 A niss anzwr killz teh warth, srsly, but a nasty werd maeked teh angr.

2 Kittehs hoo knowz how ta getz teh burgerz use dem smartz fur gud, but teh kittehs hoo are teh failz speek dumtalk.

3 Ceiling Cat iz watchin yooz! SRSLY!

4 A yum yum speekr can has moar cheezeburgerz, but if yu dun speek teh rightz, yu getz no moar NOM NOMZ. Kthxbai.

5 Kittehz taht be teh foolz dun take teh burgerz frum teh dadz. Smrt kitteh takeses dem!

6 Litturbox of teh gud kittehs has moar cheezeburgerz! but yu dun get NOM NOMZ if yu are in teh litturbox fur bad kittehs.

7 Smrt kittehz gib otehr kittehs moar smrtz, but dumdum catz duz not.

8 If yu iz wicked an yu dun eet teh cheezeburgers but gib dem to teh Ceiling Cat, yu get PWNED. But if yu iz nice kitteh teh Ceiling Cat saiz "YUM!"

9 Ceiling Cat luvz dey dat do followz teh leedurz wit him! Play dat wit him now!

10 If yu iz wicked yu iz gunna get teh HURTZ an get WTFPWNED if yu dun cleen teh kittehlitturz.

11 Teh Ceiling Cat can makez teh badz! Dun make him! Can yu makez teh badz? NO!


12 Naughty kittehs dun liek u to tellum wut to do, so dey stayway frum da smrt kittehs.

13 A happi hart mayk ppl smyl, but brokded hart PWNZ spearitz lyk a emo kitteh

14 Smrt kittehs lieks nolege lyk a cheezberger, an teh dum kittehs eet outa dumsterz

15 Sad kittehz land on bak evry dai, an happi kittehz eet cheezburgerz all teh time

16 It be bettr to respeck Cieling Cat an not hav much stuf, den to hav lotsa cheezburgerz but be confuzzled inside.

17 A salid wit no dresing shayrd wit sum1 u luv iz better den a dubble whopper an fries wit sum1 u h8. SRSLY!

18 Da hothedd kittehz get in fitez, an teh kool-tmprd kittehz stop 'em b4 sum1 gets PWNED!

19 Lazy kittehz path iz blokked wit spiky flowrs an dogz, but teh gud kitteh kan go newere dey want.

20 Smrt kittehz maek dere papakittehz happi, but dum kittehz h8 deir mamakittehz.

21 Oopsies maeks a dum kitteh happi, but a smrt kitteh alwayz nos wher him goin.

22 If u makin plans, axe for HALP! Cuz two kittehs is better den juss won.

23 It's DA BEST when u come up wif da purrfect thing to sez at the purrfect time. amirite? yah. iz rite.

24 Smrt kittehs go up, not down to da basement.

25 Ceiling Cat pwns da naughty kitteh's howses, but don't even tuch da widowkitteh's front yard.

26 Ceiling Cat noes ur dirty mindz! Stop thinkin bad! Nice thots give him a happie. (Like cheezburgers)

27 Greedy catz gonna get trubbl, but if ur honest, u r ok. srsly.

28 Smrt kittehs think b4 dey say sumtin st00pid. St00pid kittehs just sp33k dum.

29 If u r bad, Ceiling Cat not gonna halp u. Even if u prr rly hard. He only listuns to good kittehs.

30 Smilez give warm fuzzies. Also, gewd news.

31 PAY TENSHUN wen sumone gifs yoo advice, st00pid! It maek yoo look smrt.

32 Listen to wut udder ppl haf to say, cuz dey is juss tryin to halp maek u smrterer.

33 Ceiling Cat gifs smrts. Allz so, dun wit teh braggin. Not kewl.

Proverbs 15
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