Numbers 17

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Old Testament
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Teh Buddin' Of Teh Staff

1 Teh Lord sayz 2 Moses Cat,2 "Go sayz 2 teh Israelites, 'Oh hai, I need 12 staffs, k?' and gets 1 staff from teh leader of each tribe, k? srsly. Write teh name of each man on his staff.3 On teh staff of Levi write Aaron Cat's name, 4 there must b 1 staff 4 teh head of each tribe, k? srsly.4 Place them in teh Tent of Teh Meeting in front of teh Testimony.5 Teh staff belonging 2 teh man I chooz will sprout, and I will be likes, 'No more grumblings against Moses Cat!'"6 So Moses Cat speeks 2 teh Israelites, and there leeders give him 12 staffs, 1 4 teh leader of each of teh tribes, includingz Aaron's staff.7 Moses Cat placed teh staffs in teh Tent of Teh Testimony.8 Teh next daze Moses entered teh Tent of Teh Testimony and sawz dat Aaron's staff hads not only budded, buts also blossomed and made almonds (mmm... almonds).9 Then Moses Cat returned teh staffs to their riteful ownzors.10 Teh Lord sayz 2 Moses Cat, "Put back Aaron's staff in teh Testimony, 2 be kept as a sine 4 teh rebellious. This will end there grumbling against me, so they wont get PWNED."11 Moses Cat did just as was commanded.12 Teh Israelites sayz to Moses Cat, "Oh Noes! Wez all gonna dies!13 Any1s hoo even gos near teh tabrernace is gonna dies! Are wes gonna die?"

Numbers 17
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