Nahum 3

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Old Testament
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Sux 2 b Nineveh

1 Haha sux 2 be teh citi of blood,
full of liez,
full of stoln stuffz,
full of victimz!
2 An whipz!
3 An wepnz!
Teh pielz of ded peeplz ar so big
no wun can count dem all
an peeplz is trippin on dem LOL.
4 All bcz of a hookr
who knowd magikz
an maded evribodi slaevz wif her sexinis
an her magik
5 "I haetz u," sez Ceiling Cat.
"I wil put ur skrt on ur hed
n evribodi wil see u nakkd
LOL."
6 I wil thro poop at u
an not be niec to u
an evribodi will be all "LOL."
7 Evribodi wil run awai an be all
"O noes!"
8 At leest Thebes had a rivr around it to protekt it.
9 An Cush and Egypt an Put and Libya were protektin it.
10 But it got beated eniwai.
Evn teh litl kittnz got killded.
11 U will get drunkt an hied from teh enemi.
12 All ur bases iz liek appl treez. U jus haz to shaek dem an all teh applz fall down an aniwun can pik dem up.
13 All ur d00dz is jus chikz eniwai.
Ur doorz ar opin an dey iz on fier LOL.
14 U shud get sum watr
an fix evrithin up!
15 Teh fier wil eat u
teh sord will cut u.
16 U haz lotz of biznismen
But dey eatz evrithin up liek bugz
an den fliez awai.
17 Ur gardz iz liek bugz
an so iz ur politishnz
an dey wil fly awai too.
18 Ur sheprdz iz asleep
an so iz ur importnt peeplz.
19 U iz so beat up
u iz gonna die.
Evribodi is liek "LOL"
bcz dey all haetz u.

Nahum 3
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