Micah 3

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Old Testament
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1 Micah sed, “listen up, n00bz wats runnin Israel, u shud laik totallee no betta.


2 U am h8in on gud n luvvin ebil, n u am skinded mai peeps an kutted dem up.


3 U am laik cannibuhls! GROSS!


4 U betta not aks Ceiling Cat fr help wen u needz it btw cuz u can talks 2 teh paw.


5 Ceiling Cat sez ur profitz is laim, n00bz, dey am callin shizzle cheezburgrz R U DUM?


6 Ur profitz no can has vishuns frm Ceiling Cat no moar, n u am laik ‘am sunshiny tomozzle, or rainin?’ BUT NO CAN HAS WETHER 4CAST, N00BZ!


7 N ur profitz will b laik ‘sux 2 b us.’


8 But Ceiling Cat hav maid me 1337, so I cn lai it out 4 u, n I c all ur sin cooties.


9 So I tells u srsly u am betta pai attenshun!


10 All ur base am maid of fail, n u am maid of fail 2.


11 Cuz Ceiling Cat has gives u meellions of pressies, laik ur wiggy judgz bein wize, n ur profits havin vishuns, bt u am nt appreeshyatin teh skillz, u am pimpin teh skillz, n u still tinks Ceiling Cat am ur BFF.


12 Ceiling Cat am nt ur BFF, n He am gonna lay teh smack down, Chuck Norris-style, n all cuz ur laim.”

Micah 3
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