Micah 2

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Old Testament
Ceiling Cat Planz; So duz kittehs

1 Peeps dat caws ebil n invashuns am so screwed, spesh 1s dat skeem in der beds n do it in teh a.m.

2 Dey monch teh cheezburgerz frm otha peeps, nom nom nom, n moov in 2 der cribs n am mean 2 the bebbeh kittenz, n diss der histry n such.

3 So Ceiling Cat sez “check it, I r makin sum big ebil gainst dem invashun peeps, wat will keep dem rly sad n heavy til dey learnz deir lessonz.

4 N the tablz am turned on teh invadrz, hoo sez ‘I can has no histry, an I r slave 2 u, an u has monched teh cheezburgerz n I has 0 left, srsly.’

5 N no 1s gonna fix it 4 dem, cuz all der base r belong 2 us.

Feik Prophitz

6 Even teh kittenz of Jacob am not safe frm Ceiling Cat’s paw.

7 Cuz I is 1337 at patience, but I r pissed nao, n u can has lesson 4 realz.

8 C cuz dis am y Ceiling Cat r mad wth u: u am bad h8rz, n mess wth peeps dat r kool, u taks der wkd sneakers 4 urselvz n loks teh kool peeps up in teh hole.

9 U r takin womenz away frm der bebbeh kittenz, n makin der kittenz h8 mai shinies cuz dey am sad.

10 U mite as well get it ova wth, uv rly effed up dis time n ur gonna b punished sooner or l8r.

11 All ur leaderz shud suk, cuz its all u deserve.

Yes U can has Cheezburgr!

12 U am lucky dat Ceiling Cat am so 1337, cuz I r gonna fix u 2, n mak u all BFFs 2gether.

13 Ur harts will b opened up 2 Ceiling Cat, n ur leaderz will show teh wai, cuz dey am followin me.”

Micah 2
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