From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Teh Plot 2 Pwn Happy Cat
3 Then big cat pile, wit writers n old folks, in teh palace of teh big cat, whoz called Cataphas,4 And skeemed that thay can take Happy Cat sneeky, and pwn him5 But thay sez, "Not on teh feast day, cuz peeps would freek."
Cheezburger Oilz at Bethany
6 So Happy Cat was outside in Bethany, inside the house of Simon the lepr,7 Woman popped up wif can of tuna, and poured oilz on his head, as he sitted at cheezburger.8 But when his bfz sees it, thays angry, saying, Y to waste?9 Dis oilz might have been sold for much, and give to other kittehz wif no cheezburgerz.
10 Happy Cat thinkz n sez, Y Yu freekn? she knows I like oilz.11 Always kittehz wif no cheezburgers; but I go bai, k?12 Thatz Y she pour on the tuna oilz, 4 2 bury mee.13 I sez 2 U, wen teh bibul iz told, it wil say wut shes dun 4 me. Shez cool. U suck.
Judas 2 Pwn Happy Cat
Happy Cat Eets Nummies wit His Herd
17 So teh first day of the feast of da flat cookie the BFz came to Happy Cat n sez, Where 2 eat feast?
18 And he sez, scratch on window and weez in.
19 And teh BFz did as Happy Cat sez; and thay made redy teh passover.
20 So dark out, he sitted wif the BFz.
21 And as thay eated, he sez, Guess what? 1 of youz gonna pwn mee.
22 And thay were sad, and all sez, Not mee. wtf?
25 Then Judas, which pwned him, answered and sez, scuz plz, is it I? He sez, No Da.
Happy Cat Maeks teh Ceiling Cat Din-Din
26 They was eatings, and Happy Cat took cheezburgrs and give them to his peepz and sez, "Is my body. It has a flavor. U can has it and go NOM NOM NOM."27 And he took teh cup, sez thks plz, and gives 2 dem, sez, Drink all of it;28 Dis my blood k?, Soz U can say srry when U bad kittehz.29 Now I has no milk wif u, till wez all in the ceiling. K?30 Invisible karaoke over, they went outside 4 2 play.
Peter Can Has Amneezia
31 Den Happy Cat sez, Ize has to go bai, and u gonna B like, Wtf? For it sez: "I pwn teh master, n teh peepz will run leik sissyz."
32 Then, I‘m in your Galilee, back from teh dead.
33 Peter sez, No wai.
34 Happy Cat sez, btw, Guess what? Today b4 teh chikun sez kok-ah-doodull-due u gonna say u no know mee 3 times.
35 Peter sez, No way. BFz will say wtf?
Cheezburger n teh Yard
38 He sez, Ize sad. Stay wif mee.
39 And he went a little farther, and failed, and sez, O my daddy, I no want 2 dies! I can no die?
Pwnin' n Gethsemane
47 While he sez dat, Judas, shows up wif army of big cats and old peeps.
Happy Cat n teh Beeg Cat Cownsil
64 Happy Cat sez, fraid so. UR going to see Ceiling Car Jr. poking his head out from hole in ceiling.
Peter Pwns Happy Cat den Weepies
69 Girl sez to Peter, U were wif Happy Cat frm Galily.
70 Peter sez, 'fraid not.'
71 He goes out to the porch, another maid sees him, and sez, 'U were wif Jebuz!'
72 And again, 'Mee not know him.'
73 They all sez to Peter, 'u gotsta be wun of dem!'
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