From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Teh destrucshun ov teh temple an signs ov teh end tiems
1 jesus left teh temple an wuz walkin away when his disciplez came up 2 him 2 call his attenshun 2 itz buildings.2 "do u c all thees things?" he askd. "truly i tell u, not wan stone her will be left on anothr; evry wan will be thrown down."3 as jesus wuz sittin on teh mount ov olivez, teh disciplez came 2 him privately. "tell us," they sed, "when will dis happen, an wut will be teh sign ov ur comin an ov teh end ov teh age?"4 jesus anzwerd: "watch out dat no wan deceivez u.5 4 lotz da will come in mah naym, claimin, i r mesiah, an will deceiv lotz da.6 u will hear ov wars an rumors ov wars, but c 2 it dat u r not alarmd. Such things must happen, but teh end iz still 2 come.7 nashun will rize against nashun, an kingdom against kingdom. Thar will be faminez an earthquakez in various placez.8 all thees r teh beginnin ov birf pains.9 "den u will be handd ovar 2 be persecutd an put 2 death, an u will be hatd by all nashuns cuz ov me.10 at dat tiem lotz da will turn away frum teh faith an will betray an hate each othr,11 an lotz da false profets will appear an deceiv lotz da peeps.12 cuz ov teh increase ov wickednes, teh luv ov most will grow cold,13 but whoevr standz firm 2 teh end will be savd.14 an dis gospel ov teh kingdom will be preachd in da whole wurld as testimony 2 all nashuns, an den teh end will come.15 "so when u c standin in da holy place teh abominashun dat causez desolashun, [a] spoken ov thru teh profet danielâ€”let teh readr understand”16 den let dose hoo r in judea flee 2 teh mountains.17 let no wan on teh haustop go down 2 taek anythin out ov teh houz.18 let no wan in da field go bak 2 git their cloak.19 how dreadful it will be in dose dais 4 pregnant women an nursin mothers!20 pray dat ur flight will not taek place in wintr or on teh sabbath.21 4 den thar will be great distres, unequald frum teh beginnin ov teh wurld til now - an nevr 2 be equald again.22 "if dose dais had not been cut short, no wan wud surviv, but 4 da saek ov teh elect dose dais will be shortend.23 at dat tiem if anyone sez 2 u, look, her iz teh mesiah! Or, thar he iz! Do not bleev it.24 4 false mesiahs an false profets will appear an perform great signs an wonders 2 deceiv, if posible, even teh elect.25 c, i has told u ahead ov tiem.26 "so if anyone tells u, thar he iz, out in da wildernes, do not go out; or, her he iz, in da innr rooms, do not bleev it.27 4 as lightnin dat comez frum teh east iz visible even in da west, so will be teh comin ov teh son ov man.28 wherevr thar iz carcas, thar teh vulturez will gathr.29 "immediately aftr teh distres ov dose dais " teh sun will be darkend, An teh moon will not giv itz light; Teh stars will fall frum teh sky, An teh heavenly bodiez will be shaken. [b]30 "at dat tiem teh sign ov teh son ov man will appear in da sky, an all teh peoplez ov teh earth [c] will mourn. They will c teh son ov man comin on teh cloudz ov heaven, wif powr an great glory.31 an he will send his angels wif loud trumpet call, an they will gathr his elect frum teh 4 windz, frum wan end ov teh heavens 2 teh othr.32 "nao lern dis leson frum teh fig tree: as soon as itz twigs git tendr an itz leavez come out, u knoe dat summr iz near.33 even so, when u c all thees things, u knoe dat it [d] iz near, rite at teh door.34 truly i tell u, dis generashun will certainly not pas away til all thees things has happend.35 heaven an earth will pas away, but mah werdz will nevr pas away.
Teh dai an hour unknown!
36 "but bout dat dai or hour no wan knows, not even teh angels in heaven, nor teh son, [e] but only teh fathr.37 as it wuz in da dais ov noah, so it will be at teh comin ov teh son ov man.38 4 in da dais before teh flood, peeps wuz eatin an drinkin, marryin an givin in marriage, up 2 teh dai noah enterd teh ark;39 an they knew nothin bout wut wud happen til teh flood came an took them all away. Dat iz how it will be at teh comin ov teh son ov man.40 2 doodz will be in da field; wan will be taken an teh othr left.41 2 women will be grindin wif hand mill; wan will be taken an teh othr left.42 "therefore keep watch, cuz u do not knoe on wut dai ur lord will come.43 but understand dis: if teh ownr ov teh houz had known at wut tiem ov nite teh thief wuz comin, he wud has kept watch an wud not has let his houz be brokd into.44 so u also must be ready, cuz teh son ov man will come at an hour when u do not expect him.45 "hoo den iz teh faithful an wize servant, whom teh mastah has put in charge ov teh servants in his haushold 2 giv them their fud at teh propr tiem?46 it will be gud 4 dat servant whose mastah findz him doin so when he returns.47 truly i tell u, he will put him in charge ov all his posesshuns.48 but suppose dat servant iz wickd an sez 2 him, mah mastah iz stayin away long tiem,49 an he den begins 2 beat his fellow servants an 2 eat an drink wif drunkardz.50 teh mastah ov dat servant will come on dai when he doez not expect him an at an hour he iz not aware ov.51 he will cut him 2 piecez an assign him place wif teh hypocritez, wer thar will be weepin an gnashin ov teeth.
- a - Matthew 24:15 daniel 9:27; 11:31; 12:11
- b - Matthew 24:29 isaiah 13:10; 34:4
- c - Matthew 24:30 or teh tribez ov teh land
- d - Matthew 24:33 or he
- e - Matthew 24:36 sum manuscripts do not has "nor teh son", but they still has "only teh father".
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