Matthew 13

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Jebus can has Storees nao?


1 Den Happy Cat goed out of teh houz n leid in som son beamz bai teh wet.2 Lotsa kittehs finded Happy Cat, so him gots a bukkit and sitted out in the wet, and teh kittehs did not want wet, so dey sitz on da beaches.

3 Teh Happy Cat sed sum lols "Da kitteh had sum birdfudz 2 grows.4 wHen he dropzed it in da streetz, sum burds nommed it.5 den som falz on teh roxorz, n teh seeds wuz liek "we're in ur dirtz, growing big 4realz" cuz dere wuzzn't much dirtz.6 teh sunny beams came and wuz lyek "GROWIN ROOTS, UR DOIN IT RONG" an wnet pyro ons em7 sum falls in teh scrachie bushez, and teh scratchies not wnat tehm gro gud so tehy pwnd dem.8 bt sum falled on teh gud dirt, where dey roflolled in2 bigg mommi and daddy plant, and dey gots real big. LOL9 Yoos herded wot Iz sed? Srsly.

10 Desipuls confoosed an axt Happy Cat "Y yoo talk liek iz fureva storee tiem?"11 An Jebus sed "Iz tellen yoos da seecruts uv da Ceiling but Iz nawt tellen da n00bs, lol.12 Cuz iff yoos has cookies resapee yoos can has moar cookies butt iff yoos no can has resapee yoos no can has moar cookies13 so Iz tels yoos storees14 an da profet uv Isaiah is troo15 (iz nawt has tiem to tels yoo da profet agen go luks eet up ursalf [1])16 But yoos can has cheezburgr 4 ur moufs An bukkits 4 ur pawz17 coz iz nawt da lier cat, coz liering is invisibl errur and Ceiling Cat wil pwnz0r." 18 "Yoos still dun getz it, lol.19 k, da burdfuds on teh streetz wuz teh n00bs taht ar srsly dum an get pwnzd bai evuls.20 da burdfuds on teh roXXors wuz persun who tink he no awl teh strat21 but wehn he go into teh instance he gtz epic FAIL!!!1!! roflmao,22 Den teh scratzie bush iz awl the stax uv sooper siez cheezburgrs an iff yoo eated too many sooepr siez cheezeburgr you getz fat An sqwish ursalf An get deded."

23 "But teh burdfuds in teh gud dirt iz teh kitteh hoo heers AN undastans teh wurd uv Ceilin Cat, so he getz da cheezburgrs an cookies but he noes dat eateding too much uv dem wil maek u fat lol."


Nuver storee bai Jebus


24 Happy Cat den tolld a nuver storee. dis storee leik part too uv teh storee uv the kitteh wif da gud dirt.25 Wun dai dis kitteh hav naps An basement Cat maded weedz (nawt weedz dat iz da catnipz fr hoomins lol) gro in teh kitteh's weet farm26 so der wer weedz (nawt the gud wuns)groo wif der weets.27 An den teh slayv woekd teh kitteh an sed "Dere ar weedz in ur weets. We can has bong?"28 An teh kitteh sed "n00bs dat nawt teh gud weedz. Dey bad weedz in da weets." An den teh slayvs uv teh kitteh sed "yoo wanna us ta pullem owt?"29 An teh kitteh sed "WTF ar yoos srsly??!!!1 yoo no hao much werks dat taek??!!!!?@30 Wez jus sorts dem owt wen we picks de crops An bern de stinkeh weedz (nawt teh gud stink lol)An puts teh gud weets in mah weet howse."


Jebus telld MOAR storees, srsly


31 So heers a storee abowt a musterd seed. Ceiling Cat kindom is leik musterd seed coz musterd seed maeks musterd an musterd is rly rly importen fur maeking cheezburgrs, so musterd seed iz importen liek Ceiling Cat kindom iz importen.32 Oh waet storee nawt ovah yet. Den liddel teeneh musterd seed get putted in teh grownd An groos into dis hooj tree An it rly bootafool An stuffz An teh burds leik it. K nao dats teh en.

33 An I can has tellen nuver storee? Kingdum uv Ceiling iz leik yeest dat maeks da burgr rols dat they maek wit tree cupz uf flower to maek doh, an den doh rieses an den can maek cheesburgr.

34 Den teh desiplus telld Jebus "nuff wit storees nao!!1!!! Yoos bin talkin fur ages. Wez can has sleeps nao? kthxbai."

Matthew 13
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