Matthew 1

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1. Dis book of genie-ologee of Jesus Christ, son of Dave, son of Abe:

2. Abe maded Isaac, Isaac maded Jake, Jake maded Jude and hiz bros.

3. Jude maded Perry and Zeryy wit Tammmy. Perry maded Hez, and Zerry maded Ram.

4. Ram maded Amminy, Amminy maded Nathan and Nathan maded Salmon. Not the fish, lol.

5. Salmon maded Bo, Bo maded Obe wit Ruth, Obe maded Jesse

6. and Jesse maded King Dave teh king. King Dave teh king maded Solomon wit sum chick that used to made peoples wit Uriah. Lol, Uriah got pwned.

7. Solomon maded Rebby, Rebby maded Abi and Abi maded Asa.

8. Asa maded Jehoseh...sumtin, and he maded Jorry and Jorry maded Uzzy.

9. Uzzy maded Jotham, Jotham maded Ahaz and Ahaz maded Hezeky.

10. Hezeky maded anny, Manny maded Ammy and Ammy maded Josh.

11. Josh maded Jecony and hiz bros, was bout when they was carryeded to Babblylon.

12. And after they was in Babblylon Jecon maded Shealty, and Shealty maded Zerubbabbabbabbabba.

13. Zerubbabbabbabbabba maded Abey, Abey maded Eli and Eli maded Az.

14. Az maded Zaddy, Zaddy maded Achy and Achy maded diffrent Eli.

15. Diffrent Eli maded other diffrent Eli, other diffrent Eli maded Matty and Matty maded Jake.

16. And Jake maded Joe. Joe was teh mister of Mary, and she maded Jesus, who gets called Christ, liek all teh time. Srsly.

17. So all teh genenerayshuns from Abe to Dave am 14 genenerayshuns, frm Dave to gettin lockeded up in Babblylon am 14 genenerayshuns, and frm gettin lockeded up in Babblylon to teh Christ am 14 genenerayshuns. Srsly.

18. Now, teh burth of teh Christ was liek dis: After Marry and Joe were all "We's gonna get marrieded, kthnx", but before dey had teh secks, Mary was all preggers from the Holey Ghosty.

19. Joe was all liek "Oh snap, dis embarrassin. I's gonna hide mah wife".

20. But when he was tihnkin, zomg, angel frm Invisible Man was in his dreems! Angel sayed "Hai, don't be fraided to has Mary for ur wife, cuz her baby be frm Holey Ghosty.

21. "And she gonna made a son, and you gonna call him Jesus, cuz he gonna save ppl and pwn dere sinz."

22. So all dis was all did so it'd be all liek Invisible Man sayed it was gonna be. His profet was all liek:

23. "Hay guise, look at dis, teh virgin iz all preggers, and dey gonna call him Immany", dat means "Invisible Man wit us"

24. Then Joe woked up, done wat teh angel frm Invisible Man tolded him to, and was all liek "U mah wife now, lol" at Mary.

25. And dey didn't has teh secks till she maded a son and calleded him Jesus.

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