Luke 4

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New Testament
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===== Basement Cat temptziz Jesus ===== {{verse |1=Teh Holy Spirit leaded Jebus into teh dezrt |2=an Basement Cat pestrded him for forti daiz. Jebus didint eated nothin all dat tiem an he gotted hungri. }} {{verse |3=Basement Cat wuz liek, "If u iz Ceiling Cat's kittn, turn teh rokz into cookies." }} {{verse |4=But Jebus wuz all "No wai, liek teh book sez, 'peepl needz moar dan bred to liv.'" }} {{verse |5=Den Basement Cat taked him up whaer he cud see all teh kingdmz in teh wrld. |6=An Basement Cat wuz liek "U can haz all dis |7=if u prayz to me." }} {{verse |8=Jebus wuz liek "LOL, teh book sez 'Only pray to Ceiling Cat an wrk for him k.'" }} {{verse |9=Basement Cat wuz not dun yet, he takeded Jebus to Jerusalem an putted him on teh top of teh templ. He wuz liek "If u iz Ceiling Cat's son, jump off k. |10=U iz alwaiz talkin about dat book, well dat book sez:<br> {{indent}}'He wil tell his anjilz to keep an eye on u,<br> |11={{indent}}dey wil pik u up so u woant trip."<br> |12=But Jebus wuz all "U forgetted, it sez 'Do not giv Ceiling Cat tests, kthxbai.'" }} {{verse |13=An Basement Cat givd up. For teh tiem bein eniwai. }} ===== Jebus getz chaesded out of Nazareth LOL ===== {{verse |14=Jebus wented back to Galilee. |15=He teachted in teh synagog an evribodi liekded dat. }} {{verse |16=Den he wented hoem to Nazareth an wented to teh synagog liek he alwaiz did. |17=Sumwun gived him teh book of Isaiah an he lookted up teh part dat goez:<br> |18={{indent}}"I gotz teh Holy Spirit,<br> {{indent}}bcz Ceiling Cat pickted me<br> {{indent}}{{indent}}to giv good newz to deh poor peeplz<br> {{indent}}an giv freedm to peeplz in jail<br> {{indent}}{{indent}}an siet to teh blind<br> {{indent}}an get evribodi treetd bettr<br> |19={{indent}}{{indent}}an sai this be the year of teh Ceiling Cat's favr."<br> }} {{verse |20=He givded teh book bak. Evribodi was starin |21=an Jebus wuz all "Dat comed tru todai. I iz in ur synagog, fulfillin ur professeez." }} {{verse |22=Evribodi wuz all "What a niec kittn. Hez Joesphz kittn riet?" }} {{verse |23=Jebus wuz all "Now u iz gonna sai 'Doctor, treet urself! Do sum miraclz heer liek u didded in Capernaum.' " }} {{verse |24="U no whut, no proffett iz popular in hiz hoemtown. |25=When Elikhat wuz aliev, dere wuz lotz of widowz whaer he lived. |26=But Ceiling Cat didint send Elikhat to enni of dem. He sended Elikhat to a widow in Zarephath insted. |27=N when Elisha wuz aliev dere wuz all kaindz of leperz whaer he livd. (Leprz haz a skin dizeez calld leprosi, it is nasti). But teh onli wun Elisha healded wuz Naaman teh Syrian." }} {{verse |28=Dat pissted evribodi off. |29=Dey throwd Jebus out of town an draggded him up a hill. Dey wuz goin to thro him off teh clif. |30=But he jus walkted thru teh crowd an lefted LOL. }} ===== Jebus throwz a demn out ===== {{verse |31=Den Jebus wented to Capernaum to teech peeplz. |32=Dey wuz all "OMG, he r00lz." }} {{verse |33=A deemn wuz in dis d00d, causin him trubbl. He wuz all, |34="O hai Jebus, iz u comin to destroi us? I know who u iz! U iz teh son of Ceiling Cat!" }} {{verse |35=An Jebus wuz liek "Get out of dere!" An teh deemn throwded teh d00d down an left kwietli. }} {{verse |36=Evribodi wuz all "OMG!" |37=An dey telled all dere frenz. }} ===== Jebus healz peepl ===== {{verse |38=Jebus wented to Simonz house. Simonz mothr-in-law wuz rilli sik an dey askted Jebus to help hr. |39=So he wuz liek "Feevr, get out!" an she got bettr. She felt so much bettr she startd bringin dem cookies an milk. }} {{verse |40=Bai sundown all kindz of sik peepl wuz comin to see Jebus. He putted hiz pawz on dem an dey gotted bettrz. |41=An deemnz dat wuz insied peeplz wuz leevin to, all "OMG, u iz Ceiling Cat's kittn!" But Jebus made dem STFU bcz dey knowd who he wuz. }} {{verse |42=When teh sun comd up Jebus lefted. Evribodi wuz lookin for him an when dey founded him dey tried to stop him from leevn. |43=But he wuz liek "Ceiling Cat wantz me to tell teh good newses evriwhaer." |44=An he kep vizitin teh synagogz in Judea an tellin evriwun deze thingz. }} [[Category:Luke|Luke 4]] {{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[John]]|PrevBook=[[Mark]]|NextChap=[[Luke 5]]|PrevChap=[[Luke 3]]}}

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