Luke 17

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{{New Testament}}
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so unpleasant
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[[Category:Luke|Luke 17]]
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=====Nottees n Fayths n Workingz, O mai!=====
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{{verse |1=And Jebus sed to his lolcats, “U will have lots of temtashuns to be nottee n make invisibul errors, but u shudnt b taken uther kittehs down wit u.
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|2=If ur a bad influenz on deh littul kittnz hoo dont b noin bettur, u will b n big, BIG trubul, mistur! Srsly.
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|3=If u no a nottee kitteh hoo sayz he be sorree, u shud b giffin him kisses n makin up.
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|4=Even if de nottee kitteh steelz ur nip seven timz in wun day but keepz giffin it bak and sayin sorree, u shud still be giffin him kisses."}}
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{{verse |5=Den de lolcats sed, “Jebus, we r still confyusd! sho us how ta git mor fayth, k?”
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{{verse |6=Jebus sed, “If u kittehs be havin even a tinee kibbul of fayth, u can be growin a hole kibbul tree and tellin it wher ta stand!
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|7=Haipothetikal kwestshun: if u had a hyred kitteh hooz job it wuz to be doin ur workingz, u expect him to b doin the workinz he wuz hyred for, rite?
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|8=Hyred kitteh getz deh kibbulz after he is dun working, not before.
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|9=In udder wurdz, if he duz ur workingz, then hez just duin what hez suppozd ta do, not anyfing supurr speshul.
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|10=U kittehs r like Ceiling Cat’s hyred workingz kittehs. He expeks u ta b doin workz for him, becuz thatz what u wuz hyred to do!”}}
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=====Da Ten Lepurrs=====
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{{verse |11=Jebus wuz walkin to Jeroosalum wit his lolcats, and dey were sumwhere round Samareea and Galilee.
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|12= As deh Jebus and deh lolcats wuz walkin, 10 itchee grose kittehs came. (Dey was calld lepurrs becuz dey had lepurrsee.) But dey didn’t get 2 close to deh lolcats bc dey noo dey were sik.
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|13=Deh lepurr kittehs said, “Jebus, hep r itcheez pleez?”
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|14=Jebus saw dem, and sed “Hai! I maded u all bettur now! Go show da vet, k?” And deh lepurr kittehs felt bettur!
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|15=Wun of deh was-lepurr-now-bettur kittehs did not go strate to deh vet, but insted went 2 Jebus.
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|16=Dat kitteh rold over and showd Jebus his tummeh, and sed “Tank u!” Dis kitteh was a Samaritun kitteh.
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|17=Den Jebus sed to hem, “I thot I heeld ten of u lepurr kittehs. Ten minus wun is nien, no?
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|18=So how come der only b dis Sarmaritun kitteh tankin me?”
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|19=And 2 da tankful kitteh, Jebus sed, “Go play wid ur toyz now, and ly in da sun. Ur fayth made u bettur!”}}
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=====Is Ceiling Cat Kingdom Tiem Yet?=====
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{{verse |20=Farisee kittehs alwayz be tryin 2 trik Jebus wid hard kwestshuns. Dey askd Jebus when Ceiling Cat will come and set up his kitteh kingdum? Jebus sed, “U farisee kittehs r tinkin 2 hard bout dis.
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|21=U shld be tinkin bout how to surv Ceiling Cat now, not all dis stuff in da fyutchur.”}}
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{{verse |22=N Jebus told his lolcats, “Sometime n da fyutchur u will be hopin itz Ceiling Cat Kingdom Tiem, but it wont b yet.
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|23=Udder kittehs will say, “Look! Over dere! Ceiling Cat Kingdom!” But don’t let dem get ur tayl all fluffee. Srsly.
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|24=Wen itz Ceiling Cat Kingdom Tiem, u will no for shur, srsly. It will b big and brite, like when humanz tern da lite on in da middul of de niet.
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|25=But bfor all dat comz, I have 2 go tru sum bad stuffz ferst. :(}}
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{{verse |26=Lolcats, remembur Noah kitteh? (He bilded the ark and ‘scaped the flud, k?)}}
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|27=Back den all de udder kittehs thot dat Noah kitteh was stoopid for bildin a big bote, and dey kept on bein sillee selfish kittehs. Dey were surprizd wen deh rainz came and dey got all wet and dide! Ceiling Cat Kingdom Tiem will b kinda like dat.}}
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{{verse |28=Remembur Lot kitteh 2? (He scaped Sodum and Gemoruh’s destrukshun, k?) Deh kittehs he noo wuznt payin attenshun to Ceiling Cat eethur.
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|29=N then wun day WHOOSH! FIER BALL! N all the stoopid kittehs wer liek, 'WTF!' n dide. Srsly.
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|30=Wen it b Ceiling Cat Kingdom Tiem, it will b kinda like dat 2.}}
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{{verse |31=Wen it b Ceiling Cat Kingdom Tiem, don’t b tryin 2 pak up all ur toyz and stuff. Dat b silleeness.
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|32=Remembur Lot’s ladee kitteh? (She lookd bak at da burning sittees and turnd 2 salt, k?) When Ceiling Cat Kingdom Tiem cumz, its tiem 4 movin forward, not bak. Srsly.}}
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{{verse |33=Deh kittehs hoo tri to gane life will loos it, but deh kittehs hoo loos der liefs will preserv it. Ironik, u see?}}
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{{verse |34=Wen it b Ceiling Cat Kingdom Tiem, 2 kittehs will b sleepin in deh kitteh condo; wun wiil go wit Ceiling Cat and wun will not.
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|35=2 kittehs will b skratchin on deh skratchin post; wun will go wit Ceiling Cat and wun will be left.
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|36=2 udder kittehs will b out chasin skwirlz; wun will go wit Ceiling Cat and wun will be left."
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|37=Deh Lolcats sed, "Jebus, wher will dese tings happen?" Jebus sed, "Wher dere be rode-kill, dere will the flais gathur."}}
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{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[John]]|PrevBook=[[Mark]]|NextChap=[[Luke 18]]|PrevChap=[[Luke 16]]}}
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Revision as of 03:39, 6 January 2009

so unpleasant

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