Lolhymns

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LOLHymns

These are hymns translated into lolspeak. It can be a bit difficult to do it but I think it can be done.

Cheezburgerz tiem

blez uz eour luerdz (ceiling cat),
for theze tie gifdzorz (cheezeburgerz),
we r aboud to can haz, kthx
frum tie bountz thru Happy Cat owr luerdz
ahmenz srsly

Amazin Grase

Amayzin grase, how niec yu soundz

Yu saevded a bad kitteh liek me!
I wunse gets lost but nao ai fowndz!
oh hai, nao can ai see!


Teh grase, maeded mah hartz awl sceerd

Teh grase, yu maek it all bettah
Hao niec teh Grase be awl appeerd
Wen ai be a niec kittah


Thru big vaccume, loud dogz, an snaekes

Iz not gunna be ded
Dat grase bringded meh, it no liek taekes
an it gif me a big cumfy bed


Ceiling Cat beez bery gud to meh

He be alwais reely so cool
He kepe me saef even if dey betteh
He neva trete me liek a ful


Wen mah nien lifes be all teh goen

Wen ai gif mah last wun upz
Iz gunna go teh Ceiling, an dat gunna pwn
All teh catnip an no pups!


Amayzin grase, how niec yu soundz

Yu saevded a bad kitteh liek me!
I wunse gets lost but nao ai fowndz!
oh hai, nao can ai see!

Praize To Teh Lord

Praize to teh Ceiling Cat, teh almighty, teh king ov creashun!

Oh mah soul, praize him srsly, for him iz ur health an salvashun!
All ye hoo hear, nao to his houz go;
Praize him in happeh adorsahun.


Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, hoo ovar all things iz so amayzinly kewl,

Covrs yu undr him pawz, yea, so mield sustaineth!
Has yu not seen how yu desirez ever has been
Granted in wut him ordaineth?


Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, hoo has skerdly, amayzinly, made yu;

Helth has givd an, when heedlesly fallin, has stayd yu.
Wut ned or grief evr has faild ov relief?
Pawz ov him mercy did shade yu.


Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, hoo doez prospr ur sleep and defend yu;

Surely him goodnes an mercy him evryday attend yu.
Pondr anew wut teh Almighty Ceiling Cat can do,
If wif him luv befrend yu.


Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, hoo, when storm dem fyght r wagin,

Hoo, when teh windz madly around yu r ragin,
Biddeth dem stop, turneth dem fury too piece,
Storm an waters eaes.


Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, hoo, when darknes ov teh Basement Cat iz aboundin,

Hoo, when teh godless do triumf, all virtoo stoppin,
Sheds him light, eatd teh horrors ov nite,
Kittehs wif him merci surroundin.


Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, oh let all dat iz in me adore him!

All dat iz life an breath, come nao wif praisez before him.
Let teh amen sound frum his peeps agin,
Gladly for yez we adore him.

The Catology

Prayze Ceiling Cat frum hoom cheezeburgrz flo!

He can has prayze from all kittehs on teh floorz!
He can has prayze from all BirdKatz too!
Prayze Ceiling Cat, Happy Cat, and HovrCat too!

Gloria Catri

Ceiling Cat can has glories!

Happy Cat and Hover Cat can has them too!
Liek it waz in teh beginningz,
iz nao and alwayz will be,
Urfs with no endz, Amenz, Amenz.

All Fings Brite an Purtyful

All fings brite an purtyful,

All kittehs big an small,
All fings wize an wunnerful,
Ceiling Cat mekked dem all.


Teh teeny flwrs dat open,

Teh burds an flying fings,
He mekked ther tasty gudness,
He mekked ther teeny wings.
All fings brite ...


Teh hoomans wiv big howses,

Teh ones livin on teh street,
Dey has difrent siez burgers,
But all can stil has eats.
All fings brite ...


Teh big hills an teh mountins,

Teh deep sea an teh ground,
Teh Lolrus an his bukkit,
Dat nevar wil be found;−
All fings brite ...


Teh chilly winz in wintar,

Teh niec wawm summy sun,
Teh ripe noms an teh catnip,−
He mekked dem evry wun:
All fings brite ...


Teh Caturdays iz win-ful,

He mekked Cat Monorail,
He mekked teh lolz an capshuns,
Wivout dem we has a Fail;−
All fings brite ...


Dees fings iz not invisible,

Cos He givved us eyez to see,
Epic Ceiling Cat iz Epic,
Cos He invntd ICHC!
All fings brite ...
(Akitteh)

A Mytee Furtress Be Owr Cat

A mytee furtress be owr Cat,

Him maeks fings safe an eazy;
Him kepes us dry wen grownd all wet,
So we no get teh sneeziez.
But evul Basement Cat
Still do wants skwoosh us flat;
Him can has manee pwrz
And kroolness dat devowrz;
No mortul kitteh pwns him.


Wif onelie owr own pwrz to fite,

We wud has Fail furevr,
But Ceiling Cat sendz Epic kinght,
To helpz wif owr endevr.
Yu asks who be dat dood?
Duh, it be Happy Cat, n00b!
Lord Sabboth be Hims naem (srsly?);
Him allwayz can has gaem.
We can kicks butt nao, srsly!


Altho teh urfs wif vakooms filld

Be somtiemz kinda scarie hood,
We be all rite cuz Him has willd
Hims troof will smacks dem down gud.
Dat Basement Cat so grim,
Owr tailz no poofs for him;
Hims hisses we enduer,
Cuz him has Fail fursure;
One littel miao will pwn him.


Dat miao pwns all urfly pwrz

No fanks to dem it stayz heer;
HoverCat and Hims gifts be owrz
Thru Him wut kepes owr way kleer.
Let fuds an catnips go
An all nine lifes also;
Dey may can maek yu ded
But Ceiling Cat has sed
Yu can has cheezburgers furevr.

Hey! Teh Birdcatz Can Has Sing

Hey! teh birdcatz can has sing!

Yayz for our new kitteh king!
Urfs can has peace an all dat
Nao we can has Ceiling Cat!
Nao all kittehs happy too!
Goggies bark and kittehs mew!
See teh BirdKatz! sing wif dem:
Happy Cat's in Bethlehem.
Hey! teh birdcatz can has sing!
Yayz for our new kitteh king!

Evry1 luvs Happy Cat:

Kittehs, hoomans, birdz and rats!
He srsly took so long to come
But then came out of MomCat's tum!
Wow, the Cathead looks like me!
'Cept without teh nastee fleas!
He lives with us without a fuss
Dat's why we calls him "Cat With Us"!
Hey! teh birdcatz can has sing!
Yayz for our new kitteh king!

Yayz for our nu Prints of Cheez!

I can has sum burgers, pleez?
We'z happy when we sees him, cause
He heals our owies with his pawz.
He rolled in mud and leaves and pee,
So nao he looks like u an me!
He did it so we will not dies
So we has moar than just nine lives!
Hey! teh birdcatz can has sing!
Yayz for our new kitteh king!

Celing Cat Lubbs Meh

Celing Cat lubbs meh dis I no
Fo my lolbible tells meh sho
All lolcats to Him belawng
Dey is on teh floor but He is nawt
Yes, Celing Cat lubbs meh!
Yes, Celing Cat lubbs meh!
Yes, Celing Cat lubbs meh!
Mi lolbible tells meh sho!


The Old Ruggeded Sock

On the floor 'crost teh room
Lays a litle blue sock
The emblem of Celing Cats lubb
An I lubb that old sock cuz it's full o' catnip
But my hooman tried to toss it owt
So I nommed on that dum hoomanz leg
Till my dear sock at last he laid down
I will chew on dis old weared owt sock
Til Celing Cat tellz me to nawt
O dat old chewed up sock, so despised by my peeps,
Has a wondrous attraction for me;
For the catnip inside just makes me go nuts
Each time I sniff it I SQUEE!
So I'll nom on my b-lubbed sock
Til at last all the catnip falls owt
I will chew on this old weared owt sock
Til Celing Cat tells me to nawt

Turn ur eyez upon Happy Cat

O hai, iz u tired an troubld?
No lite in teh darknez u see?
Thars lite 4 a lookz at teh Saviour,
An lief with moar cookies an free!!!!1!1one!!
Refrain:
Turn ur eyez upon Happy Cat, srsly,
Look ful in hiz wundarfool faec,
An teh tings on teh floor will juz go awai,
Wen he sho hiz cheezburgrs an cookies.
Thru dai into lief everlastin,
He passd, an we follo him thar;
O'er us error will be gonz!!!1!
For we can has moar cheezburgrs.
Refrain:
Turn ur eyez upon Happy Cat, srsly,
Look ful in hiz wundarfool faec,
An teh tings on teh floor will juz go awai,
Wen he sho hiz cheezburgrs an cookies.
Hiz mew do not FAIL u, hiz sayeded;
Beleaf him, an all will be okay:
Tehn go to teh urf that iz dyin,
Tell dem about hiz cheezburgrs.
Refrain:
Turn ur eyez upon Happy Cat, srsly,
Look ful in hiz wundarfool faec,
An teh tings on teh floor will juz go awai,
Wen he sho hiz cheezburgrs an cookies.

Happy Cat Waekz Up Today

Happy Cat waekz up today! Meowlelluia!

Hoomans, catz, and BirdKatz say! Meowlelluia!
Meow real loud, dese wurds r tru! Meowlelluia!
Urfs and ceiling can meows too! Meowlelluia!

Now his wurk is srsly done! Meowlelluia!

He fought and pwned and finally won! Meowlelluia!
Basement sez "U no can rise!" Meowlelluia!
Nao it won't matter if u dies! Meowlelluia!

Happy Cat's aliev once moar! Meowlelluia!

He pwns the Basement, dat's fur shure! Meowlelluia!
When he died he saevz awr tails! Meowlelluia!
Basement Cat, u can haz fail! Meowlulluia!

Happy Cat now fliez away! Meowlulluia!

But we can follows him today! Meowlulluia!
He fixed us, nao we fliez real fast! Meowlulluia!
Ceiling, cross: we all can haz! Meowlelluia!


Happy Cat Wantz meh fer a sunbeemz

Happy Cat wantz meh fer a sun beemz
to shinez fer himz each dai,
In evry wai trai to pleez himz,
at wurkz, at skoolz, on nipz,
a sun beemz
a sun beemz
Happy Cat wantz meh fer a sen beemz
a Sun beemz
a sun beemz,
Iz bez a sun beemz fer himz.
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