Lolhymns
From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
LOLHymns
These are hymns translated into lolspeak. It can be a bit difficult to do it but I think it can be done.
Cheezburgerz tiem
- blez uz eour luerdz (ceiling cat),
- for theze tie gifdzorz (cheezeburgerz),
- we r aboud to can haz, kthx
- frum tie bountz thru Happy Cat owr luerdz
- ahmenz srsly
Amazin Grase
Amayzin grase, how niec yu soundz
- Yu saevded a bad kitteh liek me!
- I wunse gets lost but nao ai fowndz!
- oh hai, nao can ai see!
Teh grase, maeded mah hartz awl sceerd
- Teh grase, yu maek it all bettah
- Hao niec teh Grase be awl appeerd
- Wen ai be a niec kittah
Thru big vaccume, loud dogz, an snaekes
- Iz not gunna be ded
- Dat grase bringded meh, it no liek taekes
- an it gif me a big cumfy bed
Ceiling Cat beez bery gud to meh
- He be alwais reely so cool
- He kepe me saef even if dey betteh
- He neva trete me liek a ful
Wen mah nien lifes be all teh goen
- Wen ai gif mah last wun upz
- Iz gunna go teh Ceiling, an dat gunna pwn
- All teh catnip an no pups!
Amayzin grase, how niec yu soundz
- Yu saevded a bad kitteh liek me!
- I wunse gets lost but nao ai fowndz!
- oh hai, nao can ai see!
Praize To Teh Lord
Praize to teh Ceiling Cat, teh almighty, teh king ov creashun!
- Oh mah soul, praize him srsly, for him iz ur health an salvashun!
- All ye hoo hear, nao to his houz go;
- Praize him in happeh adorsahun.
Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, hoo ovar all things iz so amayzinly kewl,
- Covrs yu undr him pawz, yea, so mield sustaineth!
- Has yu not seen how yu desirez ever has been
- Granted in wut him ordaineth?
Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, hoo has skerdly, amayzinly, made yu;
- Helth has givd an, when heedlesly fallin, has stayd yu.
- Wut ned or grief evr has faild ov relief?
- Pawz ov him mercy did shade yu.
Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, hoo doez prospr ur sleep and defend yu;
- Surely him goodnes an mercy him evryday attend yu.
- Pondr anew wut teh Almighty Ceiling Cat can do,
- If wif him luv befrend yu.
Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, hoo, when storm dem fyght r wagin,
- Hoo, when teh windz madly around yu r ragin,
- Biddeth dem stop, turneth dem fury too piece,
- Storm an waters eaes.
Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, hoo, when darknes ov teh Basement Cat iz aboundin,
- Hoo, when teh godless do triumf, all virtoo stoppin,
- Sheds him light, eatd teh horrors ov nite,
- Kittehs wif him merci surroundin.
Praize too teh Ceiling Cat, oh let all dat iz in me adore him!
- All dat iz life an breath, come nao wif praisez before him.
- Let teh amen sound frum his peeps agin,
- Gladly for yez we adore him.
The Catology
Prayze Ceiling Cat frum hoom cheezeburgrz flo!
- He can has prayze from all kittehs on teh floorz!
- He can has prayze from all BirdKatz too!
- Prayze Ceiling Cat, Happy Cat, and HovrCat too!
Gloria Catri
Ceiling Cat can has glories!
- Happy Cat and Hover Cat can has them too!
- Liek it waz in teh beginningz,
- iz nao and alwayz will be,
- Urfs with no endz, Amenz, Amenz.
All Fings Brite an Purtyful
All fings brite an purtyful,
- All kittehs big an small,
- All fings wize an wunnerful,
- Ceiling Cat mekked dem all.
Teh teeny flwrs dat open,
- Teh burds an flying fings,
- He mekked ther tasty gudness,
- He mekked ther teeny wings.
- All fings brite ...
Teh hoomans wiv big howses,
- Teh ones livin on teh street,
- Dey has difrent siez burgers,
- But all can stil has eats.
- All fings brite ...
Teh big hills an teh mountins,
- Teh deep sea an teh ground,
- Teh Lolrus an his bukkit,
- Dat nevar wil be found;−
- All fings brite ...
Teh chilly winz in wintar,
- Teh niec wawm summy sun,
- Teh ripe noms an teh catnip,−
- He mekked dem evry wun:
- All fings brite ...
Teh Caturdays iz win-ful,
- He mekked Cat Monorail,
- He mekked teh lolz an capshuns,
- Wivout dem we has a Fail;−
- All fings brite ...
Dees fings iz not invisible,
- Cos He givved us eyez to see,
- Epic Ceiling Cat iz Epic,
- Cos He invntd ICHC!
- All fings brite ...
- (Akitteh)
A Mytee Furtress Be Owr Cat
A mytee furtress be owr Cat,
- Him maeks fings safe an eazy;
- Him kepes us dry wen grownd all wet,
- So we no get teh sneeziez.
- But evul Basement Cat
- Still do wants skwoosh us flat;
- Him can has manee pwrz
- And kroolness dat devowrz;
- No mortul kitteh pwns him.
Wif onelie owr own pwrz to fite,
- We wud has Fail furevr,
- But Ceiling Cat sendz Epic kinght,
- To helpz wif owr endevr.
- Yu asks who be dat dood?
- Duh, it be Happy Cat, n00b!
- Lord Sabboth be Hims naem (srsly?);
- Him allwayz can has gaem.
- We can kicks butt nao, srsly!
Altho teh urfs wif vakooms filld
- Be somtiemz kinda scarie hood,
- We be all rite cuz Him has willd
- Hims troof will smacks dem down gud.
- Dat Basement Cat so grim,
- Owr tailz no poofs for him;
- Hims hisses we enduer,
- Cuz him has Fail fursure;
- One littel miao will pwn him.
Dat miao pwns all urfly pwrz
- No fanks to dem it stayz heer;
- HoverCat and Hims gifts be owrz
- Thru Him wut kepes owr way kleer.
- Let fuds an catnips go
- An all nine lifes also;
- Dey may can maek yu ded
- But Ceiling Cat has sed
- Yu can has cheezburgers furevr.
Hey! Teh Birdcatz Can Has Sing
Hey! teh birdcatz can has sing!
- Yayz for our new kitteh king!
- Urfs can has peace an all dat
- Nao we can has Ceiling Cat!
- Nao all kittehs happy too!
- Goggies bark and kittehs mew!
- See teh BirdKatz! sing wif dem:
- Happy Cat's in Bethlehem.
- Hey! teh birdcatz can has sing!
- Yayz for our new kitteh king!
Evry1 luvs Happy Cat:
- Kittehs, hoomans, birdz and rats!
- He srsly took so long to come
- But then came out of MomCat's tum!
- Wow, the Cathead looks like me!
- 'Cept without teh nastee fleas!
- He lives with us without a fuss
- Dat's why we calls him "Cat With Us"!
- Hey! teh birdcatz can has sing!
- Yayz for our new kitteh king!
Yayz for our nu Prints of Cheez!
- I can has sum burgers, pleez?
- We'z happy when we sees him, cause
- He heals our owies with his pawz.
- He rolled in mud and leaves and pee,
- So nao he looks like u an me!
- He did it so we will not dies
- So we has moar than just nine lives!
- Hey! teh birdcatz can has sing!
- Yayz for our new kitteh king!
Celing Cat Lubbs Meh
- Celing Cat lubbs meh dis I no
- Fo my lolbible tells meh sho
- All lolcats to Him belawng
- Dey is on teh floor but He is nawt
- Yes, Celing Cat lubbs meh!
- Yes, Celing Cat lubbs meh!
- Yes, Celing Cat lubbs meh!
- Mi lolbible tells meh sho!
The Old Ruggeded Sock
- On the floor 'crost teh room
- Lays a litle blue sock
- The emblem of Celing Cats lubb
- An I lubb that old sock cuz it's full o' catnip
- But my hooman tried to toss it owt
- So I nommed on that dum hoomanz leg
- Till my dear sock at last he laid down
- I will chew on dis old weared owt sock
- Til Celing Cat tellz me to nawt
- O dat old chewed up sock, so despised by my peeps,
- Has a wondrous attraction for me;
- For the catnip inside just makes me go nuts
- Each time I sniff it I SQUEE!
- So I'll nom on my b-lubbed sock
- Til at last all the catnip falls owt
- I will chew on this old weared owt sock
- Til Celing Cat tells me to nawt
Turn ur eyez upon Happy Cat
- O hai, iz u tired an troubld?
- No lite in teh darknez u see?
- Thars lite 4 a lookz at teh Saviour,
- An lief with moar cookies an free!!!!1!1one!!
- Refrain:
- Turn ur eyez upon Happy Cat, srsly,
- Look ful in hiz wundarfool faec,
- An teh tings on teh floor will juz go awai,
- Wen he sho hiz cheezburgrs an cookies.
- Thru dai into lief everlastin,
- He passd, an we follo him thar;
- O'er us error will be gonz!!!1!
- For we can has moar cheezburgrs.
- Refrain:
- Turn ur eyez upon Happy Cat, srsly,
- Look ful in hiz wundarfool faec,
- An teh tings on teh floor will juz go awai,
- Wen he sho hiz cheezburgrs an cookies.
- Hiz mew do not FAIL u, hiz sayeded;
- Beleaf him, an all will be okay:
- Tehn go to teh urf that iz dyin,
- Tell dem about hiz cheezburgrs.
- Refrain:
- Turn ur eyez upon Happy Cat, srsly,
- Look ful in hiz wundarfool faec,
- An teh tings on teh floor will juz go awai,
- Wen he sho hiz cheezburgrs an cookies.
Happy Cat Waekz Up Today
Happy Cat waekz up today! Meowlelluia!
- Hoomans, catz, and BirdKatz say! Meowlelluia!
- Meow real loud, dese wurds r tru! Meowlelluia!
- Urfs and ceiling can meows too! Meowlelluia!
Now his wurk is srsly done! Meowlelluia!
- He fought and pwned and finally won! Meowlelluia!
- Basement sez "U no can rise!" Meowlelluia!
- Nao it won't matter if u dies! Meowlelluia!
Happy Cat's aliev once moar! Meowlelluia!
- He pwns the Basement, dat's fur shure! Meowlelluia!
- When he died he saevz awr tails! Meowlelluia!
- Basement Cat, u can haz fail! Meowlulluia!
Happy Cat now fliez away! Meowlulluia!
- But we can follows him today! Meowlulluia!
- He fixed us, nao we fliez real fast! Meowlulluia!
- Ceiling, cross: we all can haz! Meowlelluia!
Happy Cat Wantz meh fer a sunbeemz
- Happy Cat wantz meh fer a sun beemz
- to shinez fer himz each dai,
- In evry wai trai to pleez himz,
- at wurkz, at skoolz, on nipz,
- a sun beemz
- a sun beemz
- Happy Cat wantz meh fer a sen beemz
- a Sun beemz
- a sun beemz,
- Iz bez a sun beemz fer himz.
