Leviticus 5

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Old Testament
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1 If sum1 is liek, "O Hai! I saw dat he did bad nstuff! but i no b a tattlkitteh, so i's not gunna talk an be liek, 'O ya, he didded it.'" If sum1 duz dat, then he gun get pwnd plus teh kitteh dat did teh bad NEwai.

2 And if sumone toucheded teh smelleh stuff or teh ikkies, an is liek, "O NOES! I iz smelleh an ikkie!"3 or if he toucheded sumone who no shower an he becomes stinky, lyke omg srysly, an he sai liek befoar, hes only gilty wen he knoes; 4 An if kitteh iz maikin swarz, even if he not knoes it bad he still be's not in teh gud newai. He still has fail. 5 If a kitteh iz liek, "OMG! Oops! I r failn00blet!" tehn he gotta go an be liek, "im so sorrie! plz don't PWNED me! :("6 an bring teh cheezburgr for to say sorry, then the preestkitty is gun take teh cheezbrgr n sai, "Is K, kthxbai."7 If teh kitteh no can haz chzbergr, mebbe 2 medium size cheezburger, is ok, srysly. Iz cool.8 Teh ceilingcAt preest d00d will be liek, "O hai! Dat's cool."9 an tehn heel go an be liek, "Heer, celieng cat! Iz 4 u! Dun PWNSED this kitteh, plz. kthxbai."10 Then Ceiling Cat will eat cheezburger, n sumtimes mebbe he share, lolz.

11 But if teh kitteh no can haz even 2 mediem siez chezbergre, OMG, ur so poor n00b! U jus giv a donutz, an taht b ok. But dun put nothin onn it. Juss a playn donuz.12 Tehn teh preest kitteh will go an be liek, "O hai ceilin cat! This kitteh so poor, so he only can giv tihs! LOL! Heer, is foar u."

13 An teh Ceiling Cat will be liek, "O, well I still liek teh donutz, so dats cool. I wnt PWNS u." an heal eet teh donutz, but Ceiling cat's liek, "WOA! Wut in daht donutz!!? I so full!! Heer! U cn hav teh rest, preest kitteh d00d." an teh preest kitteh can eet teh rest for teh ceilin cat for cuz he gotted full. lolz.

14 An Ceiling Cat sed to Mosiskitteh: "O hai, if sum1 iz liek, 'Oops! I did bad, but it wuz a acksedent' tehn he bring me 1 5 doller bigmack frum Mackdonnalds for to so I dun use my lazer eyes on him an he be ded.16 If he do dhat, hel be coo, an i not use layzers.

17 If the d00d duz a bad and duzzn no dat he dun it, wen he fine out, he be liek, 'O NOES!'18 Then maek him do liek befoar wit teh othr stuffz an taik a bigmak to teh preest kitteh sos I can eats it.19 if cheezburger r not tha bigmak, youz no can even do donutz. Must be frum teh Macdonalds. Must has tha double-meat, for cuz I can has cheezburgr an teh kitteh maikz me hungry wit hiz badds. kthanxbai."

Leviticus 5
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