Leviticus 20

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Old Testament
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1 Ceiling Cat was laik, "O hai, Moses."

2 “Tell ppl o Israel tihs stuf, taht r 4 nativ Israelites n illegal aliens. If any d00dz giv ther kids 4 sacrifice to Molech, tehy r 2 be pwnt. Trow roks at tehm til tehy r pwnt lol.

3 I will pwn tehm mysef n tehy cant shar teh water bowl, cuz tehy missed teh liter box in teh sanctuary ffs and pised me of by gives ther kidz to Molech. Lamers.

4 And ifs teh ppl does not kilz teh Molech luverz,

5 I wil go "bad kitty" on tehm. DO NOT WANT. Tihs wil hapin to all spiritchal hos taht warship Molech.

6 If some doodz calling Ms. Cleo, I will not haz a cookie for him and he cant haz friends!

7 Clean ur fur and be cool; for I, the Ceiling Cat, your God, am cool.

8 Do what I, the Ceiling Cat sayz!

9 "You yells at you folks you dies, cause you can haz no more life!"

10 Dood makes teh secks wif his neighbor's chic, killz both!

11 Dood makes teh secks wif his dad’s chic, killz both!

12 Dood makes teh secks wif his sons chic, killz both!

13 Dood makes teh secks wif another dood liek a chic, killz both!

14 Dood marries a chic, and her mom, burnz all dem cause that iz super icky!

15 Dood makes teh secks wif a aminals, killz both!

16 Chic makes teh secks wif a aminals, killz both!

17 Dood makes teh secks wif bro's wife, No killz. But no cookies!

18 Dood makes teh secks wif a chic, and she iz bleedin' they can haz no cookies cause they make mess!

19 Dood seez aunt nekkid, iz also super icky!

20 Dood makes teh secks wif his uncle's chic, they can haz no kittens!

21 Dood makes teh secks wif his bro's chic, they can haz no kittens!

22 Do liek I sez, or yu can haz no cookies!

23 Don't act liek teh doodz that use to be here, they not haz a good flavor!

24 I says: You can haz their stuff, and it haz a flavor . Iz yours; says the Ceiling Cat!

25 Teh dirty aminals; DO NOT WANT!

26 U R cool than, cause I am teh cool

27 Any doodz or chics liek Ms. Cleo, must killz! Yoo has to frow hevy stuffs at dem; iz their fawlt. srsly

Leviticus 20
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