Leviticus 18

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Old Testament
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1 And ceiling cat sed, "Oh hai Mozus,"

2 U sez unto teh kittehz uv Izreeul, u sez: "I, CEILING CAT, are teh CEILING CAT of dem!

3 Dose guyz in teh Eejipt, whar u wuz at, DO NOT WANT u for do dat. In teh Canaan, whar u be go to, DO NOT WANT u for do dat too. Kthxbai.

4 Do whut I sez, cuz I am teh CEILING CAT, teh moar CEILING CAT.

5 But u must do whut i sez cuz den u finds cheezburgers. I be teh CEILING CAT!

6 No can has teh secks wif teh fambily! I are teh CEILING CAT.

7 No can has teh surprise buttsecks wif ur daddy. No can has teh surprise buttsecks wif ur mommy.

8 No can has teh secks wif ur daddy's hoez, dats like teh buttsecks wif ur daddy.

9 No can has teh secks wif ur sister. An no iz okai for teh beej. Srry.

10 No can has teh secks wif da kitteh uf ur kitteh.

11 No can has teh beej from teh cuzins. Srry.

12 No can has teh secks wif teh auntie.

13 No cans get teh beej wif auntie too. Srry.

14 No can has teh buttsecks wif teh unkel. He are teh goatse.

15 No can has beej from dawter in lawz. Well okai maibe sumtimes.

16 No can has teh secks wif ur broes hoes. Dats ur bro d00d!

17 No can has gangbang wif grandma and granddawter. Has to big age difrns. Srsly.

18 No can has gangbang wif ur hoes sisturz.

Srsly, jus dun haz teh secks wif any uv teh peeps in ur fambly! Jus dun! SRSLY! S ur FAMBLY!

19 No can get ur harbl wetted when ur hoes has teh bluds in hur harbl.

20 No can has teh secks wif ur naiborz wife. shes not urs.

21 No can gif ur kitteh to teh fire of teh Molech. I are ceiling cat, an Molech r not!

22 No can has ghey... srsly. srry, but no.

23 No can has teh dogsecks or teh goatsecks. gurlz, no can has secks wif tehm eiver. Dass gross. Srsly.

24 Guys, you no can has do. Das wut teh Canaanyte peeps did.

25 they didsd it an I pwnsd them.

26 All dis gose for evry1! U DO IT!!!1! Or wayt... U NOT DO IT!!!!!1!!1

27 I are on teh ceiling. I cans spunk on u.

28 I spunkd on dose guys. Hehe.

29 Dey DO NOT WANT.

30 OKAI? I are ceiling cat. I are watchin u masturbate.

Leviticus 18
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