Judges 17

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Old Testament

1 Teh Micah d00d commed from Ephraim, wehre iz all ditz hilly hylands n schtuff.

2 So dis teh Micah d00d sez liek (to hiz momzors) "$$$$$1100.00 BUX witch yooz typ all over 'DO NOT WANT!!' in ALLCAPS? (ow my ears still HERTZorz) O lookie, i, liek, pwned it alreddy." n teh momzors was liek all "INFINITY PLUS ONE CHEEZBURGRS drect frum Ceiling Cat to YER INBOX!!!!shift!!!"

3 So enyhoo, da Micah d00d txtd all eleventy cnotes to momzors inbox, n momzors was liiek all "WTF? STILL DO NOT WANT, u keep u turnzorz teh $$$$$ intu kewl idolic intreface.".

4 Micah was "NO WAYZ TEH $$$$$4$z BAKC ATCHA, NO WANT ME NEETHER!!!" n den momzorz txtd $$200.000 to teh idolmaker d00d'z inbox n teh idolmaker d00d liek molded it intu kewl idolic intreface justcuz Micah wanna do it NOT! (tooo laizee or somthin) n one shinzy new IdolCat™ goze bakc at teh Micah.

5 N Micah d00d wented suddly all 100% IDOL MODE n maded a HUNDREDLEVENty JILLION effodz n idolz n churchzors n more idolz n stchuff, n he sez to hiz kid "u be #one preest kid now, k? thnxbai!"

Democrassy suxxors

6 (No king to txt NE1 watta do = democrassy suxxors.)

Some d00d shows up

7 A 20something joo-d00d levitid00d frum Beetleham majikly apeeerz from liek NOWHEREZ!!! OMG!

8 So enyhoo teh 20somethingd00d wuz all "NO PAD fur to SLEEPZORS, WAAAHHHH!! :-(" n axed Micah fur room with view n two baths.

9 Micah wuz liek all "WHERE FROM, O 20SOMETHINGD))D, kant just rent to enyone." n 20somethingd00d sez "see verse 7.".

10 Micah whuz all liek "K, weez BUNKMATES NOW! (no buttsex plz, k?) n u be #one preeest and fur lotza $$$$$ n free cheezburgrz n schtuff." n teh 20somethingd00d was "YAYYY!!! FREE CHEEZBURGRZ!!! :-)"

11 Teh 20somethingd00d pwnd Micah'z kidzorz first real job n moovd in wif Micah (but no buttsex).

12 To repeat: Teh 20somethingd00d pwnd Micah'z kidzorz first real job n moovd in wif Micah (still no buttsex; dat coms later, k?).

13 Den Micah wuz liek all "W00T! iNFINITY PLUS ONE JILLION CHEEZBURGRZ from Ceiling Cat izza mine all mine!!!!Q!@! Levitid00dz rokxors!"

Judges 17
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