Jude 1

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New Testament

1 Jude, Jameses bro an Christes cervent, sez,
"I'z writin two eberyone who wanttz two be lubbed bai Ceiling Cat teh Dad an hiz Sun.
2 Uz shuld hav lots and lots of Ceiling Cat's niceness, calmness, an lub.

Jugments on teh Invisible teechur-doodz

3 Kittehs, i wanteded 2 rite bout the salvashun we both of us has, but instead i riting to yous about ur faith insteads.4 Invisible doodz krept in umung yoos, and they gonna be condmneded. They not like Ceiling Cat, dey maek his cheezburgerz liek NOT CHEEZBURGERZ, an dey not bleev in Jesus.

5 Rememberz, (ha! u alredy no newayz!) Jesus sayved peepz out uv Eegipt, an laterz, OMGWTFHAX! teh unbeeleevers.6 An teh angels who leeved teh ceiling, he chayned up in teh darks until teh jugement7 jus as Sodum an Gonnoreah... i means GOMORRAH!!! (who waz like PENIS GOES WHERE??? to evrywun they sawed) has eternal punishments in fier.

8 Jus liek that, invisible doodz get der fur durty, not listen 2 der bozzes, an BLASFEMES! ZOMGWTF!9 Teh archangel Michael fot wid teh devil abowt Moses body, but he not blasfeme, he sez "Ceiling Cat rebook yoo."10 But invisible doodz blasfeme evryfing they not understand, an they are OMGWTFHAX'd by everfing they understand.11 N00bz! Dey walk liek Cain, greedy liek Balaam, an perishd with Korahs rebbelion.

Jude 1
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