Joshua 6

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Old Testament
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1 An teh Jericho cat-flap wuz brokeded cuz teh kittehs uv Israel wuz wet kittehs. So nowun was coem out, an tehy can no haz coem in. Srsly.2 An teh Ceiling Cat sayed: "Oh hai, Joshua! I givez 2 yu Jericho, an teh Big Cat, an teh mean kittehs wif teh scarry claws an stufs.3 But f1rzt u haz run rownd Jericho citeh lotz, k?4 An seben (7) uv yu can haz run rownd citeh wif carreh trumpitzz.5 Meow supah lowd! Teh Jericho citeh, it can haz crash, bang, fallded to teh urfs. kthxbai.""

6 So Joshua sez "Preezt-giezez, yu haz carreh Ceiling Catz Holi-Bocksez. An also, git soem trumpitzz, but juz seben(7) uv yu can haz trumpitzz cuz dats gouna b lowd, kthx"7 An hez liek "yu uvr min dats not preezt-giez, go bai Jericho citee, an taek wepunz, k?"8 An teh uvr min dats not preezt-giez sayed "kbai!"

9 So teh min wit wepunz goed round Jericho citeh, an teh preezt-giez blowd teh trumpitzz liek rill lowd10 An Joshua sez "kthx dats enuf itz 2 lowd so evrbuddeh shut upz kthxGEEZ!" an evrbuddeh shutd up, an Joshua sayed "letz play gaem k? Wen ai sez showt, showt supeh lowd! But onleh wen i sez, k?"11 An evrbuddeh wuz liek "Ok yah sowndz fun!", so tehy aw goed rownd Jericho but rill kwyet dis time an kaem bak an wuz tired an went 2 bed nite!

12 Nekzt day Joshua getz up an sez "Preezt-giez! pik up Holi-bocksez agin, thxmuch"13 Den everbudy goed round Jericho citeh, an preeztgiez blowd trumpitzz but dint showt cuz tehy wuz stil playin teh gaem

14 For teh nekzt siks(6) days tehy did teh saem thing. Wuz gettin old.15 But on teh seben(7th)t day Joshua sayed "yu haz run rownd Jericho seben(7) tiemz 2day!" Tehy did dis.

16 Evrbuddeh wuz think "wur still playin gaem yah?" wen Joshua sez "in a minnit, yu can showt. srsly."17 An he sayed "teh ppl in Jericho iz currsd, an tehy iz SO ded, sept Rahab teh harlut an her famblie cuz she wuz gud.18 But Ceiling Cat sez DUNT tuch nebudy ded cuz he no want currsez on Izrel.19 U can haz teihr cheezburgerz tho. NOW SHOWTz!!!"

20 So tehy showtd SUPAH LOWD and teh preezt-giez playd teh trumpitzz rill lowd an SHAZAAM! teh Jericho hadd krash an teh wallz (but not teh ceiling) felded dwn 2 teh urfs.

21 Den Joshuaz peepol wuz rill meen. Tehy kilt evrbuddeh. Srsly. Min or wimin: dunt matr. beybehz or seenyorz: no matr. oxez/sheepz/donkeez: say "oh hai!" 2 soard.22 An Joshua sayed "reemembr, dunt kil dat harlut, srsly."23 So tehy dint.24 But tehy did sit teh citeh on fier an wuz liek BURNZ BIG FIER BURNZ HOT HOT HOT!!! But dunt wurry, tehy gotz teh cheezburgerz owt f1rzt!!!1!"

25 Dats hao Joshua sayvd Rahab. An i guess shez still liven in Izrel 2day. Magik harlut?26 NEway Joshua sayed "U no can bild Jericho citee agin!!! Srsly d00dz. Ah meen it. Dunt try."

27 An Joshua wuz famus cuz of ceiling cat.


Joshua 6
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