John 6

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New Testament

1 Afturwurdz, Jesus cross'd teh Sea of Gallilee. 2 lotz o kittehs went too cuz tey see's teh mrkls He dun.

3 Jesus went up on teh mountn n sat dwn wit hiz homiez.

4 Teh jooz chzbrgr feist cominz up

5 Jesus saw lotza kittehs comin n sez to Phillip, "We gonna need mor chzbrgrz!"

6 but Jesus sez dis as test cuz he no'd wut waz comin.

7 Phillip sed, "200 daze of chzbrgr makin wudn't be enuff to feed all teh kittehs even a little."

8 One of teh hommiez, Andrew, the brudduh o Simon Peter, sez,

9 "There iz tom-kitteh wit five chzbrgrz n two tuna; but wut good dis do?"

10 Jesus sez, "Tell them to chillz." N all teh kittehs chill'd on teh grassiez.

11 Jesus took teh chzbrgrz, sed kthx to ceiling cat, and handed teh chzbrgrz to teh chillin' kittehs, also teh tuna.

12 When teh kittehs were purrin', he ses to His homiez, "Get teh leftover chzbrgrz so nuthin be waisted. kthx."

13 So Jesus' homies got teh leftovers, and fill'd twelve baskets wit leftovers dat came from teh five chzbrgrz dat wuz more din dey cud eatz.

14 When teh kittehs see teh mrkle he dun, they sez, "Dat must b Jesus, teh Prophet hoo come into teh wrld."

15 Jesus knowed teh kittehz wus going to come and take him n make him king, so he left.

16 nite came and the hommiez went dwn to teh sea,

17 Teh left in a boat, goed cross teh sea to Capernaum. It wuz dark, n Jesus wuz still gonz.

18 Teh sea wuz dancin n shakin cuz teh wind wuz goin craziez!

19 Teh homiez see'd Jesus walkin on teh water! OMGWTF? Teh homiez wuz skeered!

20 Jesus sez to hiz homiez, "Don't be skeered! srsly!"

21 Teh homies told Jesus to git in teh boat, but teh boat wuz at teh shor alredy.

22 Teh next day, the lotza kittehs still over the sea see'd dat there wuz only one boat, but Jesus didn't go wit his homiez in teh boat, only teh homiez wuz gone.

23 Sum botes come from Tiberias ware dey ate teh chzbrgrz wen Jesus sed kthx to ceiling cat.

24 Teh kittehz see'd dat Jesus n hiz homiez weren't there, dey demselves got into boats and came to Capernaum looking for Jesus.

25 And when teh kittehz see'd him 'cross teh sea dey sez to Him, "Dude, how'd u do dat?"

26 Jesus sed, "Kittehz! U r not lookin for me cuz you see'd teh mrklz, but cuz u want teh chzbrgrz!

27 Don't purr for teh chzburgrz, but for teh cookies dat offer more din 9 livez, which teh Son of Man givz to u. For on Him teh ceiling cat has set his seal."

38 For I's comes down from teh Ceiling, not for mah own flavrs, but for mah dad's flavrs.

John 6
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