Job 42

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Old Testament
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D00d calld Job

1 Oh hai. Dude called Job replied on chat and sed back to Ceiling Cat:

2 "I know that u r in my base and all my thawtz are belong to u

3 I haz seen sum stuffz n ben liek WTF!!11?

4 U waz liek I PWN U, n00b. I waz liek OMG WTF cuz I iz teh n00bz!

5 I waz all liek I can has cheezburger? Butt nowz I has cheezbrgr, kthxbai

6 N so allz that stuffz iz liek DO NOT WANT!!!1 and I iz like FAIL!"

Epplog

7 Aftr teh Ceiling Cat pwnd Job, he startz actin all emo n sais "OMG U tree n00bz wif teh funneh naimz, U hax3d fo shure, unliek tat n00b Job who got pwnd liek teh str8 n00bz.8 So naow yuz all ned tu taek sum cheezburgers n stuff and gib dem two me, but I not lissen to yu cuz yuz st00pid. But I here wut Job say. Mebbe he prey for u. If I feel liek it mabbe den I not pwn yuo. Cuz Job iz all gud n stuff an sai wut troo, not leik yu. LOLZ!"9 Den teh tree d00ds did leik Ceiling Cat say, an he lisen to Job wen he prey n not p0wn thoz n00bs. YAY JOB!

10 Den wen Job dun preying for hims frenz, Ceiling Cat gib Job liek wai moar stuff!!!! SRSLY!!!!11! Ceiling Cat p0wnzors all teh n00bs!!!!11 An all Job's brudders n sissers n stuff caem to hes hows. Dey eated cookies an gib Job mouseh toyz n sparkel wibbunz. Fo reals!

11 Ceiling Cat gib Job eevin moar stuffs dis tiem. He had leik wai maor sheepz n camelz n rhinoceruseses n, leik, sum lolphants tu.12 He gots seven sunz n tree doughterz.13 Job namd doters Jemimah n Keziah n Keren-Hapuch.14 Hims doghters wuz teh pweties kittehs evah!!! Srsly! When him deded, Job gib cheezburgers n stuff tu hes doters, not jus hims sunz.

15 But b4 him dededed Job liv leik wai moar long. He seed hims kittehs hab kittehs an dey hab kittehs an dey hab kittehs, to. Fo reals!16 Den him deded, all veree happi and hes wikserz gray. TEH END! Lolz.


Job 42
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