From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 And teh Ceiling Cat iz liek "Hay Job.
2 "Iz u talks to me liek u knoes me? u haz to sez teh stuffs naow, k?"
3 And Job sez to teh Ceiling Cat,
4 "Sry, I haz nuffink to sez. I iz teh noob. My paw iz in my moufs noa k?
5 "I haz sez teh stuffs, but naow I sez nuffink any moar."
6 Tehn teh Ceiling Cat sez gen frum teh windz:
7 "K, u gets reddy gen. I asks kweschuns gen, and u answr me, k?
8 "U sez I iz teh noobs? U sez mah stuffs iz no goode?
9 "U haz teh claws liek teh Ceiling Cat, and u haz teh scarie voyces?
10 "Y dont u make yurself purtier than evry1 and sez, "I is Mr. Amazin"?
11 "& then try 2 scare evry1 wif yur angR, & make even the proudest proudcat cry liek a kitteh.
12 "Try 2 make all teh bad guyz in teh world sory, and make even DEM OF ALL PPL feelz bad!111
13 "U try kix dust in dem facez till theyre blind.
14 "If u doez do all dat stufs, then I'll say, "okayz Job, u dont need Me, u can live wifout Me." (btw u know dat i know dat u know u is a n00b)
15 "Lookie itz teh dinosaur! RAWR! He haz grassez and sez yumyumyum
16 "He haz super hips and super tummy.
17 "Big and awesome tail, he has it. And don't even think of messin wit his thighs!
18 "An hiz bonez is liek strong metul, an kitteh can't haz sharpen clawz on metul.
19 "Ceiling Cat can sayz "o hai" but he needz to bring swored.
20 "An he eats stuffs in da mountins wif ohter animals, mountainz haz a flavor.
21 "He naps in da sunbemes an in da shady an in da swamps were he getz all muddie."
22 "An da shadoes shade him cuz dey is shadoes lol
23 "An he drinks up da hole river cuz he is rly big: he can drink da Jordan an it has a flavor.
24 "Can ne1 catch him wif hiz eyes, or stick sumthin up hiz noes?
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