Job 28

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Old Testament

 1 Teh place dey taeks teh silvr an cleenz teh guld.2 An taeks iurn frum teh urths an make shineh from teh roks.3 Man him turned on light an lookd for stuffz but he no find thins in teh darknz, not eeben moor rockses. Or shineh.4 Him diggd a hoel an hangd down but it no had no fud. Srsly.5 Teh urths sposed to hab food but teh rocks go on fire.6 Blue rocks which no is gud to eatz coem out wit shineh dusts.7 No birds see it wich gud for dem becuz ai wud eatz dem. No fud in teh hoel and me iz hngry.8 Der be no naminals an no big kittehz in teh hoel.

 9 Man brakded teh big rocks. Teh mounten iz nekee.10 An man goez down teh hole and lukz for toyz.11 Him folo teh watr to ware it start an digs up stufz should be baried. (But no is wut you tink cuz not baried bai kittehz.)12 Him trai to kno stuffz but him find no cept hedaek.13 Man him finded tings from ded land but him no get that iz cool.

 14 Bath say, "me no eatz it." Sink say, "me no gotz it needr."15 You can no bai it eeben doh allz guld an silvr caem outa rocks befor. It praizlez an you no gotz enuff cash. Srsly.16 Dey no taeks teh guld frum Ofeer wich iz a playz in teh east ware guld is. Dey no taeks udr shineh rocks.17 All teh gud stuffz you find iz no gud becuz it not az pritty.18 Noin stuffz is bettr ten guld an so ai no gonna gib mai noin to a n00b.19 Rocks an gold iz no gud ai be tellinz you ovr an ovr. You still no getz it?20 Ware is all dis stuff we tahkin bout coemin frum den? Iz bord, all ai wantz iz to kno. But ai no found it yet so Iz gonna taek nap now an you keep tahkin.21 It hided an ai no founded it but needr did stinkeh burdz.22 Eben deathkitteh no no bout it an him sed, "ai wuz sleepeh an tot it wuz juz kiddin."

 23 Ceiling Cat is onleh 1 who noes an him iznt gunna tell you. Srsly.24 Him see it all an noes eberytin becuz you see lotz frum teh ceiling.25 Him maed windz an watr (but no iz wut you tink becuz him no dat urths iznt litrbox).26 An him told it to rain down daer but it wuz okeeday becuz ceiling no getz wet.27 An him chekkd out teh nowledj an testd it an lickz it but him no eatz it cuz iz speshul.28 An him sed, "iz gud be scaerd of me cuz Iz big an gotz clawz an I jumps on ur head. So be gud or ai hertz you--that is the smartz ai tryd out." Job 28:28

Job 28
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