From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 Tehn Eliphaz teh Temanite saied bak:
2 Y yoo eatz air?
3 Y yoo scratch mai - dat no good!
4 No forgetz 2 kno Ceiling Cat.
5 Yur mouth sprayz teh waterz!
6 Yur meowz, dey teh suxxorz!
7 Yoo no sez FIRST!!!
8 Teh Ceiling Cat yoo no kno!
9 But We knowz all!
11 Ceiling Cat gives cheez
12 but yoo jumpz at cheezburger like lazer
13 a yoo angerz the Ceiling Cat.
14 Kittehs no see from teh basementz,
15 so Ceiling Cat no needz kittehs,
16 a specially no yoo!
17 Teh Jobe, ai will tellz yoo sum thingz.
18 This iz what teh happeh kittehs sez. Teh daddy tellz them thees thingz, an they showz it all.
19 (Teh howse wuz givehn to onlee teh daddies, noe dogz wur alouwd.)
20 Teh bad kittehs geht teh bad thingz, an it feelz liek fourevah.
21 Teh bad kitteh thinkz he heers teh dogz bahk, an teh doggiez come an they iz teh awesomeness.
22 He sez he wil stai in teh dark fourevah, cuz teh dogz will biet.
23 Teh kittehs lookz four teh fishehs, an sez, were iz teh fishehs? He knowz he iz in teh dark.
24 Jobz problemz frighted Job and demz sprize boxed him up coz he liek a king kitteh, gettin redy for fiting. srsly.
25 coz Job ignorz teh Ceiling Cat, and liek evrytin Ceiling Cat telz Job to do, he iz liek doin it teh other way.
26 He iz runnin teh other way, an iz pushing against Ceiling Cat, wiv hiz awesum raincoat.
27 He starts leik hiding his face with hiz belleh, an leik aet too much in teh first place.
28 He iz liek in teh cityz and teh houzez were teh kittehs don't wanna go, and teh houzez are gonna be ruinz in teh mornin.
29 He iz not rich kitteh, and he will not be rich kitteh, and hiz stuffs will be beried in the erths.
29 He won't leve teh dark; teh firez will dry teh woodz, and he will get shooed.
30 Hez gonna be on fier and bern and his har will blo awai
31 cuz he thinks hez pretteh kitteh.
32 And he will be pwnd
33 and look liek a tree wit no leafs
34 and his harbls wont work liek he wuz fixed.
35 wut dey do not werk, like dey is totaly pwnd.
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