Job 1

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{{Old Testament}}
{{Old Testament}}
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'''1.''' In teh land of Uz wuz a man calded Job.  Teh man was goodz, afraid of teh Ceiling Cat and evilz.
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'''Prowlog'''
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'''2.''' Teh man hadz seven sunz and tree doters,
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{{verse
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|1=In teh land of Uz wuz a man calded Job. Teh man wuz goodz, wif respeck fur teh Ceiling Cat and hated evilz.
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|2=Teh man hadz seven sunz and tree doters,
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|3=And lots of mices and camlez and rinoceruseses and servnts and stuff. srsly.
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|4=His sunz tok turns mading cookies, and they all eated them.
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|5=And Job wuz liek "Oh noes! Wut if cookies were sin?  Gotta pray, just in cases."
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}}
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'''3.''' And lots of sheepz and camlez and rinoceruseses and servnts, srsly.
 
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'''4.''' His sunz tok turns mading cookies, and they all eated them.
 
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'''5.''' And Job wuz liek "Oh noes! Wut if cookies were sin?  Gota prey, just in cased."
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'''Furst Tess'''
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'''6.''' Teh ayngles wented to seez Ceiling Cat, and Saitin wented 2.
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{{verse
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|6=Teh ayngles wented to seez Ceiling Cat, and Basement Cat wented two.
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|7=Ceiling Cat axt Basement Cat, "Wher wuz u?"  Basement Cat saied "Oh, hai.  I'z wuz in ur urfs, wawking up and down uponz it."
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|8=Teh Ceiling Cat sez "Has u seen mai servnt Job?  ''He'' can has cheezburger cuz he laiks me."}}
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'''7.''' Ceiling Cat axt Saitin, "Wher u wuz?" Saitin saied "Oh, haiI'z wuz in ur earth, woking up and down uponz it."
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[[Image:eetsoul.png|thumb|left|Teh Basement Cat wantz Job's soul.]]
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{{verse
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|9="No wai!" sed Basement Cat.
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|10="U just plyin favrits.   
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|11=If u take his cheezburgers, oar his bukkit, he no laiks u no moar."}}
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'''8.''' Teh Ceiling Cat sayd "Has u seen mai servnt Job?  ''He'' can has cheezburger cuz he laiks me."
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{{verse
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|12=Then teh Ceiling Cat sez "Okai, u can take his bukkit, but no givin Job owies." And then Basement Cat went awai.}}
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'''9.''' "No wai!" sed Saitin. 
 
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'''10.''' "U just plyin favrits.
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{{verse
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|13=Wun day Jobes' sunz and doters were eateding cookies at teh oldest wuns hoose,
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|14=And a mans cam to told Job a mesege. "Ur donkzeys and moo cows was eateding tasteh grass
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|15=And then PKers were in ur hous killin your dudez and ur naminals got stoldz and only i got wai."}}
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'''11.''' If u take his cheezburgers, he no laiks u no moar."
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{{verse
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|16=And then anotter mans cam to told Job a diffrant mesege. He sed "Teh Ceiling Cat maids fyr fall from teh skys and it burnded up ur sheepz and moar servnts and only i got awai."}}
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'''12.''' Then teh Ceiling Cat sed "Okai, u can take his bukkit, but no hurtzing Job hissef." And then Saitin went awai.
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{{verse
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|17=And thens a moar diffranter mans cam to told Job a mesege. "Sum angry dudez took ur rinoceroseseses and killd moar servnts and only i got wai."}}
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'''13.''' Wun day Jobes' sunz and doters were eateding cookies at teh oldest wuns hoose,
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{{verse
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|18=And then 1 moar mans cam to told Job a mesege.
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|19="Ur sunz howse feld over and skwishded evryones.  Sry."
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}}
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'''14.''' And a mans cam to told Job a mesege.  "Ur donkzeys and moo cows was eateding grass"
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{{verse
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|20=Then Job got upt and shaved and was liek "Gota prey now."}}
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'''15.''' "And thens teh servnts was atacked by some dudez and ur naminals was stoldz by them and only i got wai."
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{{verse
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|21="Ceiling Cat sez I can has cheezburger, Ceiling Cat sez I no can has cheezburger. +1 to Ceiling Cat!"}}
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'''16.''' And then anotter mans cam to told Job a diffrant mesege.  He sed "Teh Ceiling Cat maids fyr fall from teh skys and it burnded ur sheepz and more servnts and only i got awai."
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{{verse
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|22=Job preyed to Ceiling Cat and didnt afraid of anyone. Do want.}}
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'''17.''' And thens a more diffranter mans cam to told Job a mesege.  "Sum Chaldean dudez took ur rinoceroseseses and killd moar servnts and only i got wai."
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[http://www.supload.com/listen?s=eyhk8j]Listen to audio of chapter 1
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'''18.''' And then 1 moar mans cam to told Job a mesege. 
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'''19.''' "Ur sunz howse feld over and skishded evryones.  Sry."
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'''20.''' Then Job got upt and shaved and was liek "Gota prey now."
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'''21.''' "Teh Ceiling Cat giv me cheezburger, teh Ceiling Cat takded mah cheezburger awai.  I stil laiks teh Ceiling Cat."
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'''22.''' And teh Ceiling Cat sed "I winz!!"
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{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Psalms]]|PrevBook=[[Esther]]|NextChap=[[Job 2]]|PrevChap=[[Esther 10]]}}
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Psalms]]|PrevBook=[[Esther]]|NextChap=[[Job 2]]|PrevChap=[[Esther 10]]}}
[[Category:Job|Job 1]]
[[Category:Job|Job 1]]

Latest revision as of 19:21, 5 November 2010

Old Testament
Bible5.gif

Prowlog

1 In teh land of Uz wuz a man calded Job. Teh man wuz goodz, wif respeck fur teh Ceiling Cat and hated evilz.2 Teh man hadz seven sunz and tree doters,3 And lots of mices and camlez and rinoceruseses and servnts and stuff. srsly.4 His sunz tok turns mading cookies, and they all eated them.5 And Job wuz liek "Oh noes! Wut if cookies were sin? Gotta pray, just in cases."


Furst Tess

6 Teh ayngles wented to seez Ceiling Cat, and Basement Cat wented two.7 Ceiling Cat axt Basement Cat, "Wher wuz u?" Basement Cat saied "Oh, hai. I'z wuz in ur urfs, wawking up and down uponz it."8 Teh Ceiling Cat sez "Has u seen mai servnt Job? He can has cheezburger cuz he laiks me."

Teh Basement Cat wantz Job's soul.

9 "No wai!" sed Basement Cat.10 "U just plyin favrits.11 If u take his cheezburgers, oar his bukkit, he no laiks u no moar."

12 Then teh Ceiling Cat sez "Okai, u can take his bukkit, but no givin Job owies." And then Basement Cat went awai.


13 Wun day Jobes' sunz and doters were eateding cookies at teh oldest wuns hoose,14 And a mans cam to told Job a mesege. "Ur donkzeys and moo cows was eateding tasteh grass15 And then PKers were in ur hous killin your dudez and ur naminals got stoldz and only i got wai."

16 And then anotter mans cam to told Job a diffrant mesege. He sed "Teh Ceiling Cat maids fyr fall from teh skys and it burnded up ur sheepz and moar servnts and only i got awai."

17 And thens a moar diffranter mans cam to told Job a mesege. "Sum angry dudez took ur rinoceroseseses and killd moar servnts and only i got wai."

18 And then 1 moar mans cam to told Job a mesege.19 "Ur sunz howse feld over and skwishded evryones. Sry."

20 Then Job got upt and shaved and was liek "Gota prey now."

21 "Ceiling Cat sez I can has cheezburger, Ceiling Cat sez I no can has cheezburger. +1 to Ceiling Cat!"

22 Job preyed to Ceiling Cat and didnt afraid of anyone. Do want.

[1]Listen to audio of chapter 1


Job 1
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