Jeremiah 21

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Jeremiah 21
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Isaiah Lamentations Jeremiah 20 Jeremiah 22
Zedekiah getz deeniyd.

1 Ceiling Cat wurdz caem to Jeremiah frum dis king d00d, Zedekiah (wtf?). Teh king sai:2 "we be needin Ceiling Cat's halp bcuz Nebuchadnezzar, dis uver king gai, he be pwnin us. We can has Ceiling Cat magik plz so dis d00d leevs us aloan?"

3 Jeremiah sai4 "No, Ceiling Cat do not want. Him turns ur t0asterz an uver weppins agenst yu soonz coz yu is uzin dem to keel teh Baybehlawnzerz. Yes, srsly.5 Ceiling Cat guna coem daon to Urf an fite yu wif him pawz an lossa angriez.6 Him to be keelin all teh minz an aminals in ur city, coz tehm guna getz diabeetus.7 Den, Ceiling Cat say him will giff u all hoo no diez frum teh beetus to dis Nebuchadnezzar d00d. Dis king gai guna keelz yu LOLZ. Yu no can has mursee.

8 "Awso, tell dem, Ceiling Cat sai yu chooz laif or dedz.9 If yu staiz, him no spayr yu frum teh waterfites. But if yu leev, Baybehlawnz be taykin yu in an givin yu srs luvz an cheezburgerz. Demz petz yu gud.10 Hims guna giev dis city to da uver king, he sai, and dat gai guna go krayzee wif visible flaimfrower.

11 "But wayt - der's moar (lol Zedekiah be gettin tyerd uv dis gai by nao). Yu gotza tell Jooda dis: 'Heer Ceiling Cat wurdz.12 Dayvid's haose, Ceiling Cat saiz halp peepul evrydai. Maek shur yu sayv teh kittehs frum teh hand uv teh 1 hoo gievz dem a splash, coz tehm kittehs does not want, srsly. If yu duzn't, Ceiling Cat be releesin teh rath on yuz an yr invisible error. Him promiz it be liek pool wif no floateez. Srs.13 Ceiling Cat sai him do not liek yu bcuz yu liev on teh rawky playse ovur teh vallee wer him want to be bildin he vaykayshun home. He is do not want coz yu no letz him taek fotoh uv pritty vyuu."

14 Ceiling Cat, him guna hit yu coz yu need it. He say he can has liter, can burn yr fohrestz an eet evryting uhrownd yu coz it has a flavor." Den Jeremiah stfu.

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