From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 Hay guys Ceiling Cat doeznt like us makin favrits.2 If a cat comes an haz liek a cookie an other cat only has veggiez3 Dont sayz to cookie cat "Hay ur ma favrit lol" and to veggie cat liek "U haz veggie soz I don't like u."4 That means u is judgin an thatz bad k?
5 Ceiling Cat totally sed cats with no cheezburger on urth haz lots of cheezburgers in ceiling if they luv Ceiling Cat.6 But u iz mean to cat wit no cheezburger. Cats wit cheezburger and cookie is the onez who are liek mean to u.7 Thay dont like Ceiling Cat and so they iz the bad ones k?
8 If u luvz other kitteh as much as u luvz urself, thats good.9 But if u iz like "I like this kitteh moar than that kitteh" u iz breakin' the ruls.10 Even if u iz like good most of teh times, but one time is like "oh noes, I brake a rule" then itz like u brake all the rulz.11 Ceiling Cat sed "Dont liek hurt each other k" but also "Dont take each otherz cookie k". So if u iz liek "Im in ur kitchn takn ur cookiez" but doesnt hurt other kitteh, uz is still brakin' rulz.
14 Its no use if cat is liek "Hay Ceiling Cat I believe u is in mah ceiling" but cat dusnt do good things. Kittehs belief iznt gonna halp. Srsly.15 If ur friend is teh hungriez16 and u is like "I want you to eat" but iz not giving him a cheezburger, u r useless.17 So liek thinking Ceiling Cat iz in ceiling is useless if u r not halping other kittehs.
20 Silly kittah, u want proof?21 Wusnt ur gret gret gret granddad Abraham gud when he was like "ok Ceiling Cat, I will like kill mah son for u if u is sayin' so".22 Wut he did proofed he wuz like "Oh hi Ceiling Cat, u is ttly in mah ceiling."23 So what waz sed was true and Abraham wuz liek Ceiling Cat's bff.24 Now is u undrstnd?
25 Wasnt even Rahab (who was liek "oh hi there. I willz be ur friend for cookiez") a gud kitteh when she ttly halped those spy d00dz?26 So liek u no how a burger with no cheez is not want? Beleevin' Ceiling Cat but being a bad kitteh is the sames. K?
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