Isaiah 13

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Old Testament
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Teh Ceilin Cat Wil Pwn Babylon

1 Dis iz teh msg bowt Babylon, dat teh kitteh Isiah, son of teh kitteh Amoz, hearded frm teh awesum Ceilin Cat.2 Frm teh topz of teh suxx0rz mowntinz, raies teh flag of pwnage! Yowl to teh kittehz of pwnage, n put up yur pawz to tel dem to pwn teh cat flap of teh smexx0rz sitteh.3 Teh Ceilin Cat sez he wontz teh kittehz dat hav teh confdents n teh pried and teh pwnage to pwn teh kittehz dat teh Ceiling Cat iz mad wit. Srsly.4 Cealin Cat haz army, dey b watin on mowntin. Dey be lud too, hurtz yur ears, dem be rdy for war5 Celing catz mke lng distnce call, dey all be comin. Srry, yur contry need ta go, kthxby.6 Yowl lodly to teh celing, hpe dey Pwnzorz Celing cat heers, cuz he be cumin with teh porews of the pwn, it be no gud.7 Cuz celing cat doez thees fings tht u no liek, yur pawns wll stop workin' and al of u be emo kittehs.8 U wll f3ar, and f3ar lotz. Cuz u all wll be in gret pian, it be bad, liek female kitteh makin babehs, and u be on fier. It hurtz.9 see Celing cat be cumin, while he be pwnsome he haz no patince for teh eivls u kittehs do, liek katnip. So ur lands be hiz and he maek dem all ded liek, u bst be wry.10 all ur lite belng to celings catz, and he be take dem away, nt evnv ur ball of teh cheese in teh sky wll be shiny.11 Celing cat sez "I will punisf deh wlord for teh eivls, yu no be arroganance nu moer, yuoz be all humbled and stuffz before meh, and u be gud, kay"12 him will maek yuz liek gld, and uz be raer, and dem him seez u no moer.13 Dem him maek teh hevns shakeys also deh world wll be shake to cuz teh teh Celing cat be angy, and yu be fraid wen he be anry14 All yuz will gu back hme, cuz u no lnger welcmed hear.15 if yuz guyz not be ruinin, yuz be stbbed with shrp fings. Srsly.16 all yur itty bitteh kittehs will be cut, nd hers all be deflled. Srsly.17 nd him be mkin trble for dem whoz haz no liek for teh shninies medles.18 dem pplz be shotin dem shrp stks, nd all be deaded, not evn yur itty bitteh kittehz wll not be savd. Srsly.19 Babylon will be flld, cuz it is teh evils. jus liek dat gay place.20 and it will nvr be inhabiteded agin, not even dem sand kittehs will bild houses.21 Dem fing that eat kittehs fur fud willl rset theer, nd kittehs nu go der, cuz dey liek lifings.22 Jacakles will sit in deh places dat were blit fur king Kitteh, nd him be der for long as him done plz. Nu lnger will deh kittehs live in babylon. Srsly.

Isaiah 13
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