How to speak lolcat

From LOLCat Bible Translation Project

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(mai mispelins, lemme show yu dem)
Line 16: Line 16:
*I -> ai
*I -> ai
-
Words that end in a silent "e" that have a consonant before almost always exchange the two last letters.
+
Words that end in a silent "e" that have a consonant before often exchange the two last letters. However, it works better for some words than for others, so some discretion is advisable.
*kite -> kiet
*kite -> kiet
Line 27: Line 27:
A good exception to this rule is "dude" which is rendered into "dood" or "d00d".
A good exception to this rule is "dude" which is rendered into "dood" or "d00d".
-
Another note of interest are words that end in "er". Either you'll end up dropping the "e" or changing the ending to "ah". Both ways are acceptable.
+
Another note of interest are words that end in "er". Either you'll end up dropping the "e", replacing it with "u", or changing the ending to "ah". Both ways are acceptable.
-
*over -> ovah, ovr
+
*over -> ovah, ovur, ovr
*hover -> hovah, hovr
*hover -> hovah, hovr
*peeker -> peekah, peekr
*peeker -> peekah, peekr
Line 52: Line 52:
*With -> wif
*With -> wif
-
Switch "le" endings with "el" or sometimes "ul".
+
An "s" (or an occasional "z") may be affixed to nouns of a certain magnitude of importance to express a misunderstanding of an important thing (of which only 1 exists). This works excellently with the "th" rule above. (borrowing from popular usage in "internets/interwebs")
-
*little -> littel or littul
+
*Earth -> Urfs
-
*handle -> handel or handul
+
-
===pls dun be abusin teh txtspeak, kthx===
 
-
An important distinction is that lolcatspeak is not txtspeak. Here is a comparison:
+
Add "d" or "ed" to atypical spellings of past-tense verbs/verbals or their present-tense forms.
-
*''Hi, I was wondering if you could come down here at about 3PM. Will that be fine?''
+
*made -> maded
 +
*ate -> eated
-
:TxtSpeak: ''hi was wndrng u cud cme dwn @ 3, k?''
+
As a corollary, the word generated by the previous rule may be ended with an "ing" to form the occasional lolcat future-tense.
-
:lolcat: ''O hai! Iz wunderin, yu can has go to heer at 3? kthxbai.''
+
*eating it -> eateding it
-
TxtSpeak's main purpose is to shorten the amount of keys needed to get the message across. This is not lolcat speak.
+
 
 +
Switch "le" endings with "el" or sometimes "ul".
 +
 
 +
*little -> littel or littul
 +
*handle -> handel or handul
===ai can has pronowns?===
===ai can has pronowns?===
Line 73: Line 76:
Pronouns are almost destroyed in lolcat. Here are some examples:
Pronouns are almost destroyed in lolcat. Here are some examples:
 +
Misspellings
*I -> ai (Sometimes I works better.)
*I -> ai (Sometimes I works better.)
*I am -> Iz
*I am -> Iz
*me -> meh
*me -> meh
-
*you -> yu Plural-> yuz
+
*you -> yu, U Plural-> yuz
 +
*them -> dem
 +
 
 +
 
*he -> him
*he -> him
*his -> him
*his -> him
*she -> her
*she -> her
*hers -> her
*hers -> her
-
*them -> dem
 
*they -> dem
*they -> dem
*their -> dem
*their -> dem
Line 102: Line 108:
:''Dey kep lukin ovah heer. oh noes! Iz has stane on mah shurt?''
:''Dey kep lukin ovah heer. oh noes! Iz has stane on mah shurt?''
 +
 +
 +
===General Rule: Homonymous Misspellings===
 +
 +
While some of the rules above about spelling pertain to common typing errors, misspellings and community-specific mannerisms found on online message boards, the important skill is to learn is how to borrow the spelling certain parts of one word to misspell another. Mix them around.
 +
 +
For example:
 +
*ghost -> goast or ghoast (borrowing from "toast" or "coast")
 +
*feet -> feat (borrowing from "meat" or "heat")
 +
*moan -> mown (borrowing from "own" or "mow")
 +
*crowd -> croud (borrowing from "cloud" or "found")
 +
*nothing -> nuthing (borrowing from the typical sound of the letter "u" as in "umbrella" or "hut")
 +
 +
This works best when borrowing from real English words and just replacing/adding (clusters of) consonants. However, it's also sometimes important to avoid instances where the misspelling of one word would produce the correct spelling of another word. (i.e. "crowd" and "crowed").
 +
 +
In effect, the words in question could come out (theoretically) as still sounding the same if read, but looking quite off... under a humorous premise that cats use very simple logic in spelling: 1 phonetic sound, 1 spelling (which is actually true for many languages).
 +
 +
===pls dun be abusin teh txtspeak, kthx===
 +
 +
An important distinction is that lolcatspeak is not txtspeak. Here is a comparison:
 +
 +
*''Hi, I was wondering if you could come down here at about 3PM. Will that be fine?''
 +
 +
:TxtSpeak: ''hi was wndrng u cud cme dwn @ 3, k?''
 +
 +
:lolcat: ''O hai! Iz wunderin, yu can has go to heer at 3? kthxbai.''
 +
 +
TxtSpeak's main purpose is to shorten the amount of keys needed to get the message across. This is not lolcat speak.
 +
===Srsly.===
===Srsly.===

Revision as of 19:16, 5 August 2008

Contents

Oh hai thar

So you want to speak lolcat? It isn't very easy and you may end up with some kitty scratches in the end. The purpose of this page is to offer help on proper lolcat syntax and grammar. Don't worry if you don't get it at first. It takes some practice but in the end you'll end up with proper lolcat that is both cute and funny.

This isn't fully written though. I shall be doing that soon. For now, if you really want a crash course go to icanhascheezburger and read the comments there. These are the experts. Yes, really.

Here we go!

mai mispelins, lemme show yu dem

In lolcat speak almost everything is mispelled. Think baby talk, but with a cat flair. This is probably one of the hardest parts to get down correctly.

"eye" sounds are almost always rendered into ai, unless it just doesn't fit into the word. Most words that end in the "eye" sound can benefit from this set up. However, it appears that "ight" configurations don't benefit from using ai. Instead, change "ight" to "iet".

  • Hi -> hai
  • I -> ai

Words that end in a silent "e" that have a consonant before often exchange the two last letters. However, it works better for some words than for others, so some discretion is advisable.

  • kite -> kiet
  • like -> liek
  • come -> coem
  • came -> caem
  • bake -> baek
  • plate -> plaet

A good exception to this rule is "dude" which is rendered into "dood" or "d00d".

Another note of interest are words that end in "er". Either you'll end up dropping the "e", replacing it with "u", or changing the ending to "ah". Both ways are acceptable.

  • over -> ovah, ovur, ovr
  • hover -> hovah, hovr
  • peeker -> peekah, peekr

Diphthongs (multiple vowel sounds in one syllable) are often exaggerated or misplaced

  • Baby -> baybeh
  • Youtube -> Yewtoob, Yewtewb, Yootoob
  • loud -> lowd
  • couch -> Cowch

Words that end in -y are often instead written to end in -eh.

  • kitty -> kitteh or kittah
  • funny -> funneh
  • baby -> baybeh, behbeh

"Th" sounds are usually replaced with "f", but can occasionally be replaced with "tt" or "dd". Rarely will the "th" be kept.

  • Nothing -> Nofin, nuttin, etc
  • Three -> tree, free, fwee, twee
  • With -> wif

An "s" (or an occasional "z") may be affixed to nouns of a certain magnitude of importance to express a misunderstanding of an important thing (of which only 1 exists). This works excellently with the "th" rule above. (borrowing from popular usage in "internets/interwebs")

  • Earth -> Urfs


Add "d" or "ed" to atypical spellings of past-tense verbs/verbals or their present-tense forms.

  • made -> maded
  • ate -> eated

As a corollary, the word generated by the previous rule may be ended with an "ing" to form the occasional lolcat future-tense.

  • eating it -> eateding it


Switch "le" endings with "el" or sometimes "ul".

  • little -> littel or littul
  • handle -> handel or handul

ai can has pronowns?

Pronouns are almost destroyed in lolcat. Here are some examples:

Misspellings

  • I -> ai (Sometimes I works better.)
  • I am -> Iz
  • me -> meh
  • you -> yu, U Plural-> yuz
  • them -> dem


  • he -> him
  • his -> him
  • she -> her
  • hers -> her
  • they -> dem
  • their -> dem

Him and her are abused.

  • He went to the store and came back with nothing. He is very bad!
Him goed to teh stowr an caem bak wif nofin! Him is vewee wet!
  • I am trying to sleep. Could you please be quiet?
Iz tryin to slepe. Yu be kwyet, k?
  • She likes his taste in clothes a lot. I bet she dates him for that!
Her liek him tayst in clofes lotz. Ai fink her dait him for dat!
  • They keep looking over here. Maybe there is a stain on my shirt?
Dey kep lukin ovah heer. oh noes! Iz has stane on mah shurt?


General Rule: Homonymous Misspellings

While some of the rules above about spelling pertain to common typing errors, misspellings and community-specific mannerisms found on online message boards, the important skill is to learn is how to borrow the spelling certain parts of one word to misspell another. Mix them around.

For example:

  • ghost -> goast or ghoast (borrowing from "toast" or "coast")
  • feet -> feat (borrowing from "meat" or "heat")
  • moan -> mown (borrowing from "own" or "mow")
  • crowd -> croud (borrowing from "cloud" or "found")
  • nothing -> nuthing (borrowing from the typical sound of the letter "u" as in "umbrella" or "hut")

This works best when borrowing from real English words and just replacing/adding (clusters of) consonants. However, it's also sometimes important to avoid instances where the misspelling of one word would produce the correct spelling of another word. (i.e. "crowd" and "crowed").

In effect, the words in question could come out (theoretically) as still sounding the same if read, but looking quite off... under a humorous premise that cats use very simple logic in spelling: 1 phonetic sound, 1 spelling (which is actually true for many languages).

pls dun be abusin teh txtspeak, kthx

An important distinction is that lolcatspeak is not txtspeak. Here is a comparison:

  • Hi, I was wondering if you could come down here at about 3PM. Will that be fine?
TxtSpeak: hi was wndrng u cud cme dwn @ 3, k?
lolcat: O hai! Iz wunderin, yu can has go to heer at 3? kthxbai.

TxtSpeak's main purpose is to shorten the amount of keys needed to get the message across. This is not lolcat speak.


Srsly.

Abundant use of the word "srsly" is necessary.

-An thenn tehy wuz al ded. Srsly. (Exodus 1)


T3st.

Want to see how well you've learned LOLcat? here's the test! What does this say:


Test 1: an teh ppl wen 2 teh pien tre and seds "o hai. we luvs ar pien tre!!!1!" srsly.


The people went to the pine tree and said, "Oh hi. We love our pine tree!" Seriously.




Test 2: Hai Iz likes pai


Hi, I like pie



Test 3: I can has peec uv pai?

Can I have a piece of pie?



How well did you do? Good luck reading!

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