Hosea 12

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Old Testament

Ceiling Cat is srsly mad at Israil!!!

1 Israil iz rly windy!!
nauty kitteh is evrywer
an they gief treetz to Assyria and Ejipt!!

o noes Judah!

2 Ceiling Cat dun liek Judah peeple cus tehy liek Jacob.
Ceiling Cat will pwn them all, srsly, fur bein rude.

3 wen Jacob wuz small kitteh he haf lots of kitty fight.
Noaw him fight with Ceiling Cat!!! OMG!

4 him fight aynjels with claws and is teh win
tehn he cryd an wan to speek to Ceiling Cat

5 So Ceiling Cat spoke an sed "I R CEILING CAT, I R POWAH"

6 "u go luff ur own Ceiling Cat, be nyce to him"

7 "Israil u such a bad kitteh, u say u haz cheezburgerz but u rly haz nun8 an if u do haz sum, u stol dem neway!!"

Ceiling Cat is Ceiling Cat everywhere, noob!

9 "I r still ur Ceiling Cat liek synce wen u wer kitteh.
Noaw, i r taek ur kitteh basket an maek u sleep outside!!"

10 "mai profetts will totly pwn u srsly"

11 "an y u kil animals? u doin it wrong"

12 "Jacob wen with the sheep to find a wyfe, lol, wtf!?

13 "An Moses wuz mai profett and tryd to sayv teh Ejipt, but u rly broked it!"

14 "Israil, u bin so nauty an rude to Ceiling Cat, noaw u gunna get PWNED!!

Hosea 12
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