Hosea 11

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Old Testament
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Ceiling Cat luvz Israel

1 Whn Israel waz kitteh ai luved him, outta Egypt him meh boi.2 Teh mor ai sayz hai teh fartheh dems goes awy dems go sayz yay for Baals.3 Ai teeched Ephraim walkin, an taekd him in meh armz.4 Ai Maekd babeh wif luv, Iz him feedeh an heaeleh.5 Him goes Egypt an Assyria b him king?6 Srsly dem not sai sry, Ceiling cat gunna taek him cheezburgers.7 Him peeps scaerd bout goin home, an Ceiling Cat heers crais and sayz "No,"8 "Srsly Ephraim yu waz good cookie, yu maek meh feal specail insied,9 Ai not beat Ephraim wif toasteh, cuz Iz Ceiling Cat not yuz pansies!"10 Dem sayz yay for Ceiling Cat cuz him maek angree Rar!11 Dem run liek birdies to dem hoemz, sayz Ceiling cat!

Teh Invisible Errors ov Israel

12 Ephriam spaeks crap to meh, an Judah him rowdeh agenst Ceiling Cat!"

Hosea 11
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