Hebrews 11

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New Testament

Approyinchingz ceiling cat n Stuff (DON NOT WANT)

1 Fayth be liek hopeen fr sumthn evn tho we is can not seez it (evn tho we be so gud we seez in teh dark).2 Thats wut teh old peeps sais, srsly.3 Wif fayth we shud unde-unda-kno dat ceiling cat maded teh things so us can seez the things to seez.4 Fayth maded Abel offer ceiling cat better than Cain (srsly Cain, no want veggies!) Ceiling cat gived Abel cheezburger an maded him ritechuss manz cuz he has teh better offer, srsly. Now he can stil speek tho he iz dead (ben daed long tiem ago).5 Bi fayth Enoch-cat waz takens ups so him would n0t get wet, n "him ws fuond no' mo' cause ceiling cat had taken him." B4 him waz taked upz he tesstd to haev given ceiling cat some catnip (srsly ceiling cat waz trippin aeftr dat/.)6 bt wit 0ut any cheeseburgerz it r gon b impsaBBle to give his catnipz. 4 Any 1 w0h aprochez ceiling cat m0ust has cheezeburgers and gives him catnipz7 Bi da fayth and flavorz of n0ah, warnedned waht was not gon b yet seed, wit reVeredenceance builded an arks 4 da salavations of da huseh0ldiz. Thr3w dis he condom'd da earthz and inhairted the righouseshosn3sszes that comez threw cheeseburgers.

Mor fayth stuf

8 Bai fayth abrahamb (membr from loooooong tym go u gota listen srsly d000d.) obodieds wen him was called to go to a pleace that him was to getz as a preznt (PREZNTS!, FTW!!111!!!!!!1111`1!111111!!!!!!!. SRSLY) he wentz oyt n0t noin where he was gon to be goin.9 N wen abrahamb goed tu teh plaice Ceiling Cat tole he tu goe, him didz liev in uva bruva's tentz leik a vistur cat, srsly, n' so didz abrahamb's chldruns and chldrun's childruns10 cuz he wnted mor preznts lik a real big citi with lotz and lotz of cheezbrgrs mad bai Ceilin Cat himself.11 Bai fayth abrahamb (evn tho he wuz super old, srsly) n sara (she wuz old 2 n no culd haz bebes) bcam papa n mama cats to littl kittehs cuz he trsted Ceiling Cat hoo told dem lng lng tym ago dey wuld haz lotz o bebe kittehs.12 So cuz ov all dis stuff, lotz n lotz o kittehs com from papa cat abrahmb (lotz n lotz. srsly).13 All dees kittehs had fayth whn dey wnt to c Cailing Cat. Evn tho dey no had de cheezbrgrs prmsd 2 dem, dey nu Ceiling Cat wud huk dem up so dey wer happi. Dey nu dey wer outer space kittehs wif invinsible space ships n wer not norml "erth kittehs."14 Kittehs hoo say tings liek dis r lukin 4 nu cuntri wif lotz n lotz ov cheezbrgrs de can haz all 2 demselfs.15 If dey had thot of de cuntri dey lft, de culdd hav gon bak, (evn tho dey no had cheezbrgrs).16 But evn betr, dey wnted a big cuntri wif lotz ov cheezbrgers (magik cheezbrgrs frm Ceiling Cat even, srsly). So Ceiling Cat liked dees kittehs n maad real big citi jst 4 dems.

Hebrews 11
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Philemon James Hebrews 10 Hebrews 12

Bai fiath Enoch wsa tkn frm this lif, so tha e d'not xpnce deaht. heh couldn't bee fownd, bcuz God had tkn HIM way. Fore bfore heh was tkn, he wsa coommendeered as 1 who plsd God. An witout fiath, iss imposibla to pls God, bcuz n e 1 hoo coms to him hasta bleive tat he exists an tat the rwards tose seekim.

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