Genesis 9

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[[Category:Genesis|Genesis 9]]
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[[Category:Genesis|Genesis 9]]{{Old Testament}}
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''needs moar''
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{{verse
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|1= Teh Ceiling Cat blezt Noah and hes sunz, and sed to theys: “Haf lawt sexytime n b frootful n fill up teh urthz"
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}}
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1 Teh Invisible Man blezt Noah and hes sunz, and sed to theys: “Haf lawt sex and fil up dis shiznit.
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{{verse
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|2= Teh aneemals wil be rly scured of u. I mak dem be pwned by u guyz, lol.
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}}
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2 Teh aneemals wil be rly scured of u. I mak dem be pwned by u guyz, lol.
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{{verse
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|3= If it mvs, it kin be et. Even if it dun't—o hai plants.
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}}
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3 If it moufs, it kin be et. Even if it dun't—o hai plants.
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{{verse
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|4= Jst teh meet, doods. No bloods, kthx
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}}
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4 Jst teh meet, doods. No bloods, kaikai?
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{{verse
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|5= Ifs u eets teh bloodz iz no gud; teh aminulz noes can has teh bloodz an teh mans noes can eets teh bloodz. An ifs u pwns teh mans iz no gud--teh Ceiling Cat pwns u.
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}}
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5 Ifs u eets teh bloodz iz no gud; teh animulz cantz eets teh bloodz an teh mans cantz eets teh bloodz. An ifs u killz teh mans iz no gud--teh Invisible Man killz u.
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{{verse
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|6= “Ifs you pwns da man,
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6 “Ifs you killz da man,
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:teh man pwns u, k?
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:Da man kills u, k?
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:Teh man is liek teh
:Teh man is liek teh
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:Invisible man.
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:Ceiling Cat.
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}}
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{{verse
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|7= Yah rly, can has teh hawt secks and teh baybeez;
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:Liek, tunnz baybeez, k?
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:Evrywharez.”
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}}
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7 Yah rly, haves teh sex and teh baybeez;
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{{verse
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:Liek, tunz baybeez, k?
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|8= Ceiling Cat sez to Noah an his kidz:
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:Evrywhers.”
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}}
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8 Invisible Man sez to Noah an his kidz:
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{{verse
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|9= “Hay looks, u an me r liek teh bests frenz an I lieks ur baybeez too,
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}}
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9 “Hay looks, u an me r liek teh bests frenz an I lieks ur baybeez too,
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{{verse
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|10= An' teh aminulz u has: teh burdies, teh caws taht mooes, and teh otehr aminulz, dem gives teh mooves off teh boats, k?
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}}
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10 An' teh animulz u has: teh burdies, teh caws taht mooes, and teh otehr animulz, dem gives teh mooves off teh ark, k?
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{{verse
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|11= U and me r liek teh frenz: I no moar makez teh waterz comez; u noe gets wet no moar, k?
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}}
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11 U and me r liek teh frenz: I no moar makez teh waterz comez; u noe gets wet no moar, k?”
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{{verse
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|12= Teh Ceiling Cat sez: “U noes taht u and me are teh frenz and me and teh animulz r teh frenz forevr n evr becuz dis: cuz Ceiling Cat pwns rpeat...
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}}
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12 Teh Invisible Man sez: “U noes taht u and me are teh frenz and me and teh animulz r teh frenz forevr n evr becuz dis:
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{{verse
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|13= Visible Raynbo iz in teh skyz, k? U an me an evrywunz is teh frenz becuz teh raynbo r gr8.
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}}
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13 Visible Raynbo iz in teh skyz, k? U an me an evrywunz is teh frenz becuz teh raynbo.
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{{verse
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|14= Ifs u sees teh clowdz, u no kin sez, "Oh Noes! Teh waters comes!" becuz tehres teh raynbo;
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}}
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14 Ifs u sees teh clowdz, u no kin sez, "Oh Noes! Teh waters comes!" becuz tehres teh raynbo;
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{{verse
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|15= and I kin sez "OHai luk teh raynbo," becuz u and me and teh aminulz are hella gud frenz; I no makes teh waterz come.
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}}
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15 and I kin sez "Hay luk teh raynbo," becuz u and me and teh animulz are teh frenz; I no makes teh waterz come.
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{{verse
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|16= Teh raynbo will be in teh clowds and I rmberz taht u and me and teh aminuls iz stil sum moar teh frenz.
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}}
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16 Teh raynbo will be in teh clowds and I remmbers taht u and me and teh animuls are stil sum moar teh frenz.
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{{verse
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|17= And Ceiling Cat sez to Noah, “Teh raynbo meens u and me are teh frenz, k?
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;Noah an his sunz
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}}
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17 And Invisible Man sez to Noah, “Teh raynbo meens u and me are teh frenz, k?”
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{{verse 
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|18= So diz d00d Noah has teh 3 sonz on teh boatz. They has sum crazi namez all Shem and Ham and Japheth or summin. Ham wuz Canaan's daddi n nawt teh lunch meats. lol
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}}
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;Noah and his sons
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{{verse
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|19= newaiz frum deez 3 bros, all of teh worldz was ppl-ated.
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18 Now the sons of Noah who went out of the ark were Shem, Ham, and Japheth. And Ham was the father of Canaan.
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}}
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19 These three were the sons of Noah, and from these the whole earth was populated.
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[[Image:I growed you sum grapes.jpg|thumb|275px|left|Haz you seen mai grapez?]]
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{{verse
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|20= So liek Noah groes teh grapez.
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}}
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20 And Noah began to be a farmer, and he planted a vineyard. 21 Then he drank of the wine and was drunk, and became uncovered in his tent.
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{{verse
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|21= And Noah iz liek "Oh hai grapez" and he drinkz teh grapez and drinkz teh moar grapez and no moar haz teh cloethz on.
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}}
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22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside.
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{{verse
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|22= And Ham, Canaan's daddi and nawt teh lunch meats, sees Noah and sez "Oh hai broes, he haz teh invisible cloethz."
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}}
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23 But Shem and Japheth took a garment, laid it on both their shoulders, and went backward and covered the nakedness of their father. Their faces were turned away, and they did not see their father’s nakedness.
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{{verse
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|23= But Shem and Japheth tooks sum cloethz n put dem on Noah cuz he wuz drunkz. They clozd ther eyez so they not sawn his peen n othr nekidness.
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}}
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24 So Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done to him.
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{{verse
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|24= So Noah wakez up wif teh hangzover n he noes dat Ham shudda cut him offa teh grapez
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}}
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25 Then he said:
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{{verse
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:“Cursed be Canaan;
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|25= So liek Noah sez:
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:A servant of servants
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:“Canaan iz teh stoopid;
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:He shall be to his brethren.
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:He iz a noob of noobz
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:And liek evrywun pwns him. evn teh fat kid”
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}}
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26 And he said:
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{{verse
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:“Blessed be the LORD,
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|26= And he sez:
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:The God of Shem,
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:“Teh Ceiling Cat pwns,
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:And may Canaan be his servant.
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:Teh Ceiling Cat taht lieks Shem,
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:And Shem pwns Canaan.
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}}
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27 May God enlarge Japheth,
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{{verse
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:And may he dwell in the tents of Shem;
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|27= Teh Ceiling Cat lieks Japheth,
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:And may Canaan be his servant.”
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:He kin be in Shemz tentz,
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:subjigaeting hiz mans.”
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}}
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28 And Noah lived after the flood three hundred and fifty years.
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{{verse
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|28= So liek Noah keep livn three hunderd n fifty years after teh waterz goez away
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}}
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29 So all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years; and he died.
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{{verse
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|29= So Noah becumz ded whenz he be OMG WTF 950???, wowzors but hez ded nao
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}}
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{{Bottom Bar | PrevBook=N/A | NextBook=[[Book of Exodus]] | NextChap=[[Genesis Ten]] | PrevChap=[[Genesis Eight]] | ThisBook=[[Book of Genesis]]}}
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{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[Exodus]]|NextChap=[[Genesis 10]]|PrevChap=[[Genesis 8]]}}

Latest revision as of 13:24, 29 February 2008

Old Testament
Bible5.gif

1 Teh Ceiling Cat blezt Noah and hes sunz, and sed to theys: “Haf lawt sexytime n b frootful n fill up teh urthz"

2 Teh aneemals wil be rly scured of u. I mak dem be pwned by u guyz, lol.

3 If it mvs, it kin be et. Even if it dun't—o hai plants.

4 Jst teh meet, doods. No bloods, kthx

5 Ifs u eets teh bloodz iz no gud; teh aminulz noes can has teh bloodz an teh mans noes can eets teh bloodz. An ifs u pwns teh mans iz no gud--teh Ceiling Cat pwns u.

6 “Ifs you pwns da man,

teh man pwns u, k?
Teh man is liek teh
Ceiling Cat.

7 Yah rly, can has teh hawt secks and teh baybeez;

Liek, tunnz baybeez, k?
Evrywharez.”

8 Ceiling Cat sez to Noah an his kidz:

9 “Hay looks, u an me r liek teh bests frenz an I lieks ur baybeez too,

10 An' teh aminulz u has: teh burdies, teh caws taht mooes, and teh otehr aminulz, dem gives teh mooves off teh boats, k?

11 U and me r liek teh frenz: I no moar makez teh waterz comez; u noe gets wet no moar, k?”

12 Teh Ceiling Cat sez: “U noes taht u and me are teh frenz and me and teh animulz r teh frenz forevr n evr becuz dis: cuz Ceiling Cat pwns rpeat...

13 Visible Raynbo iz in teh skyz, k? U an me an evrywunz is teh frenz becuz teh raynbo r gr8.

14 Ifs u sees teh clowdz, u no kin sez, "Oh Noes! Teh waters comes!" becuz tehres teh raynbo;

15 and I kin sez "OHai luk teh raynbo," becuz u and me and teh aminulz are hella gud frenz; I no makes teh waterz come.

16 Teh raynbo will be in teh clowds and I rmberz taht u and me and teh aminuls iz stil sum moar teh frenz.”

17 And Ceiling Cat sez to Noah, “Teh raynbo meens u and me are teh frenz, k?”

Noah an his sunz

18 So diz d00d Noah has teh 3 sonz on teh boatz. They has sum crazi namez all Shem and Ham and Japheth or summin. Ham wuz Canaan's daddi n nawt teh lunch meats. lol

19 newaiz frum deez 3 bros, all of teh worldz was ppl-ated.

Haz you seen mai grapez?

20 So liek Noah groes teh grapez.

21 And Noah iz liek "Oh hai grapez" and he drinkz teh grapez and drinkz teh moar grapez and no moar haz teh cloethz on.

22 And Ham, Canaan's daddi and nawt teh lunch meats, sees Noah and sez "Oh hai broes, he haz teh invisible cloethz."

23 But Shem and Japheth tooks sum cloethz n put dem on Noah cuz he wuz drunkz. They clozd ther eyez so they not sawn his peen n othr nekidness.

24 So Noah wakez up wif teh hangzover n he noes dat Ham shudda cut him offa teh grapez

25 So liek Noah sez:

“Canaan iz teh stoopid;
He iz a noob of noobz
And liek evrywun pwns him. evn teh fat kid”

26 And he sez:

“Teh Ceiling Cat pwns,
Teh Ceiling Cat taht lieks Shem,
And Shem pwns Canaan.

27 Teh Ceiling Cat lieks Japheth,

He kin be in Shemz tentz,
subjigaeting hiz mans.”

28 So liek Noah keep livn three hunderd n fifty years after teh waterz goez away

29 So Noah becumz ded whenz he be OMG WTF 950???, wowzors but hez ded nao

Genesis 9
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