Genesis 27

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Old Testament

1 Isaac gotted olded n blinded he sez YO Esau, Easu sez "sup?"

2 Isaac sez "gonna ded soon3 Gimmeh sum delicious cakez n mouses from outside"4 soes I CAN HAS sum delicious cakez so U CAN HAS cheezburgerz in B 4 ded"

5 Rebeka wuz leik watchin him speak soes after Esau goez out to the sandwormz,6 she sez 2 Jacob "I wuz watchin daddy sey to Esau, n he sed7 'Gimmeh sun delicious cakez n I giveh U cheezburgerz wif Ceiling cat watchin.'8 so do dis:9 Gimmeh 2 goatse, n I makes delicious cakez outta dem.10 n give 2 daddi n say U CAN HAS DELICIOUS CAKEZ so he giveh U cheezburgerz n be in before ban (ded).

11 Jacob sez to mom, "Esau is a furfag n I not are furfag12 Dad may feels my no furz, then he would cockmongle me."

13 Mom sez "I'll take teh cockmongle 4 U, trust me KTHNXBAI"

14 so he getz 2 goatse an givem to mom n she maek delicious cake.15 n she crossdress Jacob in Essau clotheses16 n stapled goatse skinz on Jacob's handz n neck17 den she gived him delicious cakez n cookiez she maided.

18 Jacob wented to daddie n sez Yo

daddie sez WTMeow? WRU?


20 Isaac sez "Dung, that wuz fast, where use find it?", Jacob sez "I gots it from Ceiling Cat"

21 Isaac sed "comeh, lemmie touch U so i know if U R furfag Esau"

22 Jacob let daddi touch him n daddi sed "U sound leik Jacob but ur bikini area feels liek Esau.23 He did not recognize hims cuse bikini areas feelz same n furry, so I can gived U cheezburgerz.24 "R U rly Esau?" he sed

0 rly

25 "Gimmeh somez delicious cakez n cookiez n i gives U cheezburgerz"

Isaac CAN HAS DELICIOUS CAKEZ n COOKIEZ n BEERZ26 den daddi sez "mere, gimmeh kiss" ewwwwwwwww

27 Jacob does visible kiss with Isaac, when Isaac smellz Jacob he sez:

U smell leik field n poop
poop from Ceiling cat

28 "Ceiling cat gonna maek U wet

and he be poopin on ur land
so u gets good foodz n beerz

29 landz will serve U

peoplz will bend ovar 4 U
U can beat up ur brotherz
Ur momz kidz will bend ovar 2
dems who curse u will bw beaten
dems who giveh cheezburger will get cheezburger (NO U)

30 as Jacob wus leavin, Esau wuz cummin.31 n sed here be some delicious cake maid from mouse, U CAN HAS MY MOUSES"

32 Isaac sez; "WTMeow? WRU? we did this B4", Esau sez "I B ME"

33 Isaac sed "WTMeow? I yust gave cheezburgerz to the last bastard who wuz here, ur AFU"

34 Esau sed "WTMeow!!1!!1!!! gimmeh cheezburgerz too OMFG, BOHICA"

35 Isaac sez "sry d00d, ur SOL"

36 Esau sed "yo, U named him Jacob (Bibul speak 4 he decieves) He bited me 2 timez, he tooked mai Inhertance n now he eated my cheezburger, you do no has cheezburger 4 me?"

37 Isaac sez, "sorry, ur SOL"

38 Esau goes "WTMeow? CAN I HAS CHEEZBURGER?" n doos tearz.

39 Isaac sez;

ur house
has no cheezburgerz
n no beerz

40 ur gonna be ready 4 brawl

but ur be protectin ur brudder
but when /b is boring
U beat hiz butt
offs ur face"
Jacob Flees to Laban

41 Esau wuz pissed, he sez "Imma go columbine on Jacob ASAP"

42 when mom herd this she tolded Jacob "Esau wantz to pwn U43 so GTFO to Laban in Haran44 hang out 4 awhile45 I'll tells U when itz cool

46 Rebecka sed "I already gotz me 2 hittite slut DIL's DO NOT WANT! If Jacob do PENIS GOES WHERE? wif a hittite, I be an hero"

Genesis 27
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