From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Moses Singa Song
1 Moses An teh izrelites singa song to Ceiling Cat An it go lyk this:
"I sing to teh Ceiling Cat cuz he ttly pwnd ar enmees An is ful of win;
he frew teh charyots An teh gypshons in2 teh see.
2 Ceiling Cat fites 4 justis; he sav me frum teh bad gaiz.
he is Ceiling Cat, An I mak him cookies,
he was Ceiling Cat for my dad too An i singa song for him.
3 Ceiling Cat fite for us An his name be Ceiling Cat.
4 "Ceiling Cat frew teh gypshons An teh charyots in2 teh see;
An teh bestest armei d00ds was drownded in teh red see.
5 An tehy was covrd by teh waterz; An tehy go 2 botom ov see like relly beeg roks.
6 "Ceiling Cat, ur rite paw is reel awsm for teh pwnzing;
An it mak enmies teeny tiny peeses.
7 Yoo r ful of gud An win to pwn teh enmees;
an if u gets mad teh enmees burn up wit fyre an look kool.
8 Yoo blowd on teh see An teh waterz was walls;
teh botom of teh see was teh grownd.
9 Teh enmees sayd 'Iz gonna chayse tehm An Iz gonna cach tehm;
Iz gonna takes there money An wif my sord I takes there stuf.'
10 But yor brefs, Ceiling Cat, makes teh gypshuns drownded;
tehy fell to botom even tho tehy DO NOT WANT!!
11 "Ceiling Cat, is ther other cats in ceiling like yoo? NO!
Is ther a cat as ful of gud an win lyk yoo? NO!
Can other cat give many cheezburgers? NO!
12 Yoo strech yur rite paw,
An teh urth gulp enmees.
13 Yoo not brake yur promiss, yoo rescood teh peeps;
An yoo strong An yoo bring tehm to teh good litterbocks.
14 Teh othr nashuns, tehy heer yur strong, An tehy scard of yoo!
Teh Philistines cant moov dey so scard!
15 Teh Edom lidors r ful of lose;
teh strong mans from Moab shakes in der boots
teh peeps frum Canaan r lyk teh cowardly lion (cept he not inventd yet).
16 Tehy ful of scard An lose.
dey no yoo r strong, Ceiling Cat, dey no moov frum scard til yur peeps go by-
teh peeps yoo savd frum slavree.
17 U bringz dem An puts tehm on teh mowntin,
teh playse u choosd 4 teh home, Ceiling Cat,
teh holy bocks u bildeded.
18 Ceiling Cat, yoo r king forever."
Moses lyks 2 repeet hisself alot.
Miriam Singa Song 2
19 Teh izrelites went throo teh see on teh grownd An not get wet, lyk I sayd befor. An teh gypshons An teh charyots An stuf went in2 teh see, Ceiling Cat coverd tehm wif teh waterz, also lyk I sayd befor.
20 Miriam, sis of Aaron An Moses, took teh tambreen, An teh laydeez go aftur her. Teh laydeez had tambreens too An tehy dansd.21 An Miriam sanga song to tehm lyk this:
"Singa song to Ceiling Cat, cuz he wins teh day;
he frew teh gypshuns in2 teh see."
Miriam singa short song.
Teh Water has a flavr
22 Tehn Moses brang teh izrelites away from teh red see in2 teh sandbocks calld Shur. Tehy walkd threw teh sandbocks for three dayz, but dey finds no waterz.23 Then tehy caym to playse calld Marah, An ther was waterz. Teh waterz had a flavr, An teh flavr was bad. An tahts wy playse calld Marah, cuz Marah meens "has a bad flavr."24 Teh ppls whynd to Moses An sayd, "Whut we drinks now??"25 Moses prayd to Ceiling Cat, An Ceiling Cat showd him sum wood. Moses frew teh wood in teh waterz, An teh waterz had a flavr, An teh flavr wuz gud.
Ceiling Cat gave teh peepls laws, An he testd teh peepls.26 he sayd, "if yoo dos wutevr I say to doo An doo wut I says is good, yoo not cach teh gypshun sicknessis. I is Ceiling Cat, I makes u feel bettr."
27 On teh next dai tehy got to Elim. An tehre wuz twelv springs An 70 pom trees, in cays u wuz wondring. An tehy sleepd by teh waterz.
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