Daniel 8

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TOO MUCH FUCKING FREE TIME

Teh Inturpertashun ov Teh Vizun

15 So ai, Daniel, wuz watchin teh vizun an wuz leik, "wtf?" - der wuz a gui hoo lokked liek a hooman!16 An ai hurd a hooman sez from teh waturz, "Yo sup, Gabriel! Liek, tell dis dood wat him vizun iz sed."

17 An den he caem neer an ai wuz liek, "OMG!" an wuz rilly skared an fell daown on mai faece. (Ow! Dat rilly hurt!) An den him sez, "Sun of hooman, u needz to undrstand dis vizun becuz itz abowt teh endz tiemz."

18 An liek, ai falled ahsleep wile him wuz talkingz to mi cuz i haz teh narkolepzy! (Liek, srry!) Den him wuz liek, "lol" an waked mi up. Him wuz rilly nice an standz mi to mai feetz.

19 Him sez, "Hai! I tellz u wut happen laytur in teh tiemz of angri tingz, cuz ur vizun iz abowt teh endz tiemz, liek ai sed befor, rite?20 Teh boi sheepz u sawz wuz teh kignz of dese two cookies, rite? Dey importunt, k.21 An teh goat iz teh kign of Greece, an teh unicorm hornz wuz teh furst kign. Him haz rilli big cookie.22 An liek, teh foor hornz dat bork teh ceilingz iz foor udder cookies dat coam form teh rilli big cookie butt dey nawt az speshul.

23 "Laytur in der roolingz, wen dey r rilly bad, a rilly kewl guy will caom, rite? Him knowz haow to be inturestingz.24 Him wud be rilly strng, butt dat cuz him hax wid udder coderz. An him turnz on god-mod an maekz tingz ded an rez hiz attk pointz to be xtra leet. Him killded teh speshul pepplz ov teh Ceiling Cat.25 Den him maekz cheturz awsum, an hizelf rilly awsum. An wehn dey feelz gud abowt demselvz, him killz mani peeplez, an trie to cloze teh hol of teh Ceiling Cat. Him will be ded, butt nawt cuz hoomanz did it.

26 "Teh vizun ov teh daiz an teh nites be troo. Butt trai nawt to think bout it, k? Itz rilly in teh footure, lol."

27 Liek, so ai r Daniel (ai has to sai dat cuz ai forgit lotz, lol.), an ai iz tierd! Liek, mai narkolepzy iz happen! Iz anoying, lol. An ai got teh floo, so stayz n bed. Den ai done teh kign's bizzniz. Teh vizun still maekz me go "wtf!" Ai iz so furstrated! LOL!


Daniel 8
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