Daniel 7

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Old Testament
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Daniel Dreemz Abowt Foor Beeztz

1 Leik, n teh furst yaer of dis kign Belshazzar (liek, hooz dat? lol), Daniel iz dreemingz an haz vizunz n hiz hed. An him wrotez dem daown.

2 Daniel sed, "N mai vizun ai sawz foor widnz of teh ceilingz sturringz up teh seez.3 An foor beezts cum up frum teh seaz. Dey wuz all rilli difurent, k?

4 Teh furst wuz liek a lyon (git n teh car!!!), n haz wingz liek eegullz. An den itz wingz wuz torned off n den it stud liek a hooman, and teh Wing Catz gaev it a hart ov a hooman.

5 "An dere wuz liek, a sekund beezt hoo lukked liek a bearcat. It wuz liek, up on un sied, an it haz tree prymeribz in itz teefz. An it wuz towld, 'Git up an eet ur fill of teh fleshs!'

6 "Aftur dat, I lokded an dere bfour mi wuz anudda beezt, un dat lokded liek a leppard. An it haz foor wingz liek a burd on itz backz. It had foor hedz (dis beezt rilly not lok liek leppard, lol) an it haz mod status.

7 "Aftur dat, I lokded an dere wus a foorth beezt - an it wuz rilly skeery an rilly pwrful. Liek, it haz huge iron teethz! Him wuz curshding an eated itz preyz an squishded wat wuz left. Him wuz rilly diffurent from teh udder beeztz an him haz ten hornz.

8 "An wyle ah wuz thinkingz abowt teh hornz, dere wuz anudda horn dat wuz small dat kicked off tree udda hornz. An liek, teh horn haz eyez! An a mouf! An teh horn tlaked rilly full of itslef. (Liek, iz jurk, srsly!)

9 "As ah wuz lokkin, (cuz ai do dat lotz, lol) dere wuz shinnyz sofas moveded in,

 an teh Ceiling Cat wuz watchin him favrite sofa.

 Him clohtes wuz wite leik teh snowz, (butt nawt az cold! brr!)

 an him fur wuz wite liek teh wullz.

 An him speshul favrite sofa wuz on fire,

 an itz wheels wuz on fire, tew (Haow doez him sitz on it?! iz liek misturee.)

10 An dere wuz a ribber ov fire liek

 cumeing owt frum teh sofa.

 Dere wuz lotz an lotz of pepplez,

 (SRSLY!)

 An all teh speshul pepplz wuz sittin,

 an dey opend bookz an stuffz. Wuz kewl, lol.

11 "Den ah watchded cuz teh bitty horn wuz jerk. Ah lookded till teh rilly big animul wid liek all teh hornz an stuffz wuz died an itz bodi wuz thorwn in teh fier.12 (Teh udder beeztz wuz bannd butt dey still liev for a tiem.)

13 "An in mah dreemz I seez a dood liek teh sun ov hooman, cumeing wid teh cloudz of teh ceilingz. Him haz a ladderz an went to teh Ceiling Cat.14 An him wuz given rilly pwrful buffz an mod skillz an lazurz an stuff, an awl teh pplz frum evrywhre camed an fell daown bfore him feetz. Him has rilly looooong lieving pwrz an him haz cookie jarz dat nawt be destroeyd evr! (iz maed of teh plastix or sumthinkz!)

Teh Inturpertationz of teh Dreemz

15 "Srsly, Iz Daniel, an ah iz trubbld. Teh visunz wuz disturbd mi.16 So ah walkded tew un of dem doodz dere an aksed him wat dis rilly means! Cuz srsly, ah wuz skeerded!

 "Den him tellz mi inturpertationz, cuz nice:

17 'Liek, teh foor beeztz r foor yummi cookiez dat rize from teh urth.

18 Butt teh pplz dat has awsum cheezburgerz has teh cookie jar of plastix an foreverz suppli ov cookiez!'

19 "Den cuz ah nozy n stuffz ah wantz to konw wtf wid teh foord beezt cuz him wuz rilly diffrnet an skeery! Him haz teh iron teethz an brawnz clawz, an him crunchded an eated him prey an smushded wut wuz nawt eated.20 An ah wantz tew no wai him haz ten hoornz an wai dat udder horn dat wuz a rilly big jerk caem up. (Ya, dat un wid teh eyez an teh mouf!)21 Wyle ah watchded, teh horn wuz fitghing teh rilly speshul pplz an killded dem,22 till Ceiling Cat sed, "K u stop naow!" an awl teh speshul pplz got teh awsum cookie jar!

23 "Him splaind, 'Teh foorth beezt iz liek, a foorth cookie dat will coemz on teh urth. It diffrent frum teh udder cookiez cuz it nawt has gud flavor an iz so big dat it covurz teh urth an crushs it rilly gud.24 Teh ten hornz r ten kignz hoo hav teh cookie. An den anudder kign ceomz an sez to tree udder kignz, "Get off ov mai cookie!" (Ai dun no wai him wantz cookie so bad! It haz bad flavor!)25 An him sez bad tingz of teh Ceiling Cat an maekz trubble for teh survantz of teh Ceiling Cat. An dey wuz gib to teh kign for tiem, tiemz, an haf a tiem. (I sed, "Wut dat meenz?" Him no splain. WTF!)

26 " 'Butt teh importunt pplz will ceomz tgethur an tell teh kign to gtfo teh cookie.27 Den teh speshul pplz hoo survez teh Ceiling Cat will has teh cheezburgerz an teh speshul new cookie! An dey get rilli big cookie dat haz gud flavor. An evryun will gib dem moar cheezburgerz an lissen to dem.'

28 "K das all lol. Ah, Daniel, wuz still trubbld cuz mah thots, an mah fayce wuz wyte. Butt I tell nobudy (xpt u, cuz u speshul kittehz, an u lurn frm dis.)."

Daniel 7
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