Daniel 2

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1. N in teh seccend yeer kink Nebuchadnezzar roolez hee haz horrortripz n coodnt sleap cuz of 2 mutch wead n cheezburgr n stuff.

2. N teh kink called hiz adminz n conzultanz n wissards n Chaldeans (noboddy newz where tehy wuz cum from), n wanz 2 no wut 2 do conzernin hiz tripz. N tehy wuz in hiz room.

3. N teh king sed: "I haz a dreem" (butt wuz not teh wun ov JFK). N he sed: "Taht dreem drivz mee nut, wut shall i doo?"

4. So teh chief ov teh Chaldeans spoukz: "LOL, u roolez 4eva! Yr dreem goez how?"

5. N teh kink sed: "If u cunt tell mee, wut teh dreem is n wut it meenz, im gettin angry. Srsly! Cuttin u n peacez, turnin yr pads 2 dunhillz n stuff."

6. "Butt when u can tell mee, wutz tihs oll 'bout, u get cookiez n cheezburgr n stuff."

7. N teh chief ov teh Chaldeans spoukz 'gain: "Yr dreem gouz how? We cun tell wut it meenz."

8. N teh kink sed: "U just wanna win tiem, LOL, but im not stupid pal."

9. "I wont tell u teh dreem, cuz u just wanna ly 2 mee. If u cun tell mee teh dreem, I nou taht i cun trust yr intaprayshun."

10. N the Chaldeans rply: "Tehr is nou man on earz, hoo cood nou tihs. Tehr4 neva a kink axt sutch a tihngz from hiz adminz n consaltunz n Chaldeans."

11. "N itz a rly cumplikaytid thingz u wanz from ass, witch nou men cood ansr u, xcept teh invisible menz, witch livez not in tihs wrld."

12. N teh kink wuz liek WTF! n got angry n stuff, n sed taht oll teh wize menz ov Babylon shood b FUBARd.

13. N cuz teh orda taht oll wize menz shood b FUBARd, Daniel n hiz gang shood b FUBARd 2.

14. Butt Daniel ansrd Arioch hoo wuz chief ov teh kinkz boddygardz.

15. N he axt Arioch "Y u wunz FUBAR mee?" N Arioch tould him y.

16. Tehn Daniel goez 2 teh kink n sed "Iv u givez mee sum tiem, tehn i cun tell u yr dreem. kthx." Butt tihs wuz a bluv.

17. N Daniel goez hom n tould teh gang teh hole storee.

18. Daniel sed "Wee needz help from Ceiling Cat, taht hee tellz ass teh dreem, elz tehy FUBAR ass wiz teh ozza wize menz."

19. N @ nite Daniel cood sea teh dreem, n he sed 2 Ceiling Cat "Thx, u roxx!

20. N hee sed taht Ceiling Cat rulez n nose oll pwds n is 1337 n stuff.

21. N taht Ceiling Cat changz teh tiemz n cronjobz, makz kinkz n p0wnz kinkz, n givz wizdum 2 teh wize n brane 2 teh branelezz,

22. N taht hee nose oll seakritz n nose were teh lite iz in teh darkniz: Itz in teh frige.

23. N hee sed "Thx 4 givin mee wizdum n p0wer n cheetcodz n u r 1337, srsly!".

24. Daniel goez 2 Arioch n sed "Stop 2 FUBAR teh wize menz n bring mee 2 teh kink, kthx!"

25. Arioch broute Daniel 2 teh kink n sed "LOL, heer is wun ov teh ppl from Joodah hoo sed hee nose yr dreem n teh intaprayshun n stuff."

26. N teh kink axt Daniel hoo haz teh codenaim Belteshazzar "O hai! U nou mai dreem n teh intaprayshun n stuff, srsly?"

27. N Daniel sed 2 teh kink "LOL, Teh adminz n consaltunz n Chaldeanz cunt tell yr seakrit"

28. "Butt Ceiling Cat is in yr heaven n nose evrything n stuff n he haz showd kink Nebuchadnezzars wut will heppen. N wut yr dreem n wishinz meenz."

29. "Itz not mai wizdum butt Ceiling Cat haz told me, so u cun heer wut it meenz."

30. "Butt tihs seakrit wuz not reveeld cuz im smarta or clevara tehn otha pplz, butt cuz u can get teh intaprayshun n nou teh thoudz ov yr hart."

31. "U has seen a great imige. Tihs imige wuz big n brite stuff n stood b4 u, butt it lookz terribel, srsly."

32. "Teh imigez hed wuz ov gould, teh breest n armz ov silva, teh belly n teh thaiz ov braz."

33. "Teh legs ov iron, hiz feet part ov iron n part ov clae."

34. "U sawez tihs till a stoun caim from somewere n hit teh feet ov teh image witch were ov iron n clae n evrything cumz doun n brouk 2 peacez n u were liek OMG."

35. "Tehn wuz teh iron n clae n braz n silva n gould, broukn 2 peacez togezza, n bcaim like teh garbidge ov teh dump n teh wind carriez tehm awai, n teh stoun witch distroit teh imige wood a big mountn n filled teh earz."

36. "C: i'm in yr dreem, nouin yr stuffz. Nou ill tell teh intaprayshun b4 teh kink."

37. "U r a kink of kinkz: Invizible Man gavez u kinkdum, p0wer n glory n stuff."

38. "N you p0wn oll pplz n animulz n birdz n rulez tehm oll, so u r teh goulden hed."

39. "Afta u, anazza kinkdum will cum, inferier 2 yrs, n anazza 3rd kinkdum of braz, witch shall rule ova oll teh earthz."

40. "N teh 4th kinkdum shall b strong as iron cuz iron breax oll tihngs in peacez."

41. "Butt teh feetz n touz r part of potterz clae n part ov iron, so teh kinkdum will b deewhydid."

42. "Cuz ov tihs teh kinkdum is partlee strong n partlee brouken, liek Mycrowsoft Winduz."

43. "N u has seen iron n clae mixed, so pplz will mix togezza, butt tehy'll not cleave 1 2 anazza, liek iron n clae stix not togezza."

44. "Butt afta taht, Ceiling Cat makez a kinkdum witch will b neva distroid, n it will brake oll ozza kinkdums 2 peacez n cunzoom tehm."

45. "N tihs is teh stoun u saw brakin teh iron n clae n braz n silva n gould n stuff 2 peacez. Ceiling Cat has shoun u wut cumez."

46. Tehn kink Nebuchadnezzar wuz liek OMG n fell upon hiz faes n woeshipped Daniel n tould taht hee shoold get cheezburgr n weadz.

47. N teh kink sed: "Yr Ceiling Cat rulez n p0wnz oll ozza invizible menz n iz teh kink ov teh kinks n iz a reveeler of seakrits."

48. N teh kink made Daniel a great man, gavez him manni cookiez, made him rooler ova teh hole provinz ov Babylon n chief of oll sysadmins."

49. N Daniel rekwestid from teh kink taht hiz old d00dz Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were set ova teh affairz of teh provinz ov Babylon, butt Daniel steiz in teh palaz cuz it haz aercondishunin.


Daniel 2
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