2 Timothy 1

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New Testament

1 Paul, homie of Jeebus becuz Ceiling Cat sed so, talkin bout cheezburgers frum Jeebus,2 O hai Timothy! Ur teh awesumz. Graysez, mercies, piece of cheezburgers frum Ceiling Cat and Jeebus, f'realz.3 I sez to Ceiling Cat "KTHX!" cuz so didz mah ansesster kittehs n stuff, and Im alwayz thinkin boutchoo night n' dai;4 I'm all like "Whar you beez?" all sad n stuffz cuz I beez filled with feelingz of cheezburgerz if I seez u;5 So like ur momz Eunice and ur grandmomz Lois? U gotz teh same fayth in teh Ceiling Cat as dey do. Like zogm f'realz.6 And like if u putz on my pawz, u gotz teh samez power of teh Ceiling Cat as I doez. Er sumfing.7 Cuz Ceiling Cat dun make us skurred; he give us powerz, lurves, kurrege, n cheezburgers dont forget those LOL.8 O hay, don't beez all skurred n stuff fer beleafin in Ceiling Cat er me in mah litterbox. Totes partakez in teh rotten cheezburgers of teh Ceiling Cat's werdz cuz he's all like "CUZ I SED SO LOLZ!"9 Ceiling Cat wuz like "o hay, u thar, I be callin u, yea u!" not becuz we do speshul tings, but becuz he sed so wai b4 dere wuz kittehs or cheezburgers.10 So Jeebus is rollin up in hurr and he be bringin cheezburgers 4evarz fer all kittehs.11 So like cuz of all dis I'm gonna say sum tingz. U can call me Apossal! I teach teh Gentilez.12 Sumtymz I goez without cheezburgers but is aight. Ceiling Cat got mah bak. Srsly.13 Im sayin sound stuffz here, k? Jeebus agreez. Don't be hatin.14 Don't give awai ur cheezeburgers. Jus in case Holey Ghosty over herr keep lookout on dem, k?15 U kno dis! All demz kittehs in teh Asia be turnin thar baks. Dey be Phygellus and Hermogenes jus in cays u wan 2 kno.16 I hopez Ceiling Cat b nice 2 litterbox o' Onsephorus! He wuz cool and reprezented.17 Dis one tyme in Roam he lookt 4 me and wuz like "O hay!! I c u thar!"18 Ceiling Cat shud totes give him cheezburgers. He sed lots o tings to me in Ephesus, but u kno dis so I wont bore u LOL.

2 Timothy 1
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