2 Samuel 20

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Old Testament

Sheba vs. David - Teh Epic Battle

1 nao troublemakr namd sheba son ov bicri, benjamite, happend 2 be thar. He soundd teh trumpet an shoutd, "we has no share in david, No part in jesez son! Evry man 2 his tent, o israel!"2 so all teh doodz ov israel desertd david 2 follow sheba son ov bicri. But teh doodz ov judah stayd by their king all teh wai frum teh jordan 2 jerusalem.3 when david returnd 2 his palace in jerusalem, he took teh 10 concubinez he had left 2 taek care ov teh palace an put them in houz undr guard. He providd 4 them, but did not lie wif them. They wuz kept in confinement till teh dai ov their death, livin as widows.4 den teh king sed 2 amasa, "summon teh doodz ov judah 2 come 2 me within 3 dais, an be her yourself."5 but when amasa went 2 summon judah, he took longr than teh tiem teh king had set 4 him.6 david sed 2 abishai, "nao sheba son ov bicri will do us moar harm than absalom did. Taek ur mastahs doodz an pursue him, or he will find fortifid citiez an escape frum us."7 so joabs doodz an teh kerethitez an pelethitez an all teh mighty warriors went out undr teh command ov abishai. They marchd out frum jerusalem 2 pursue sheba son ov bicri.8 while they wuz at teh great rawk in gibeon, amasa came 2 meet them. Joab wuz wearin his mandalorian armor, an strappd ovar it at his waist wuz belt wif lightsaber. As he steppd fwd, it ignited.9 joab sed 2 amasa, "howz u, mah brothr?" den joab took amasa by teh beard wif his rite hand 2 kis him. 10 amasa wuz not on his guard against teh lightsaber in joabs hand, an joab plungd it into his belly, an his intestinez spilld out on teh ground. Without bean stabbd again, amasa did. Den joab an his brothr abishai pursud sheba son ov bicri.11 wan ov joabs doodz stood beside amasa an sed, "whoevr favors joab, an whoevr iz 4 david, let him follow joab!"12 amasa lay wallowin in his blood in da middle ov teh road, an teh man saw dat all teh troops came 2 halt thar. When he realizd dat evryone hoo came up 2 amasa stoppd, he draggd him frum teh road into field an threw garment ovar him.13 aftr amasa had been removd frum teh road, all teh doodz went on wif joab 2 pursue sheba son ov bicri.14 sheba pasd thru all teh tribez ov israel 2 abel beth maacah [a] an thru teh entire region ov teh beritez, hoo gatherd togethr an followd him.15 all teh troops wif joab came an besiegd sheba in abel beth maacah. They built siege ramp up 2 teh city, an it stood against teh outr fortificashuns. While they wuz batterin teh wall 2 brin it down,16 wize woman calld frum teh city, "listen! Listen! Tell joab 2 come her so i can speek 2 him."17 he went toward her, an she askd, "r u joab?" "im," he anzwerd. She sed, "listen 2 wut ur servant has 2 say." "im listenin," he sed.18 she continud, "long ago they usd 2 say, git ur anzwr at abel, an dat settld it.19 we r teh peaceful an faithful in israel. U r tryin 2 destroy city dat iz mommy in israel. Y do u wants 2 swallow up teh lordz inheritance?"20 "far be it frum me!" joab replid, "far be it frum me 2 swallow up or destroy!21 dat iz not teh case. Man namd sheba son ov bicri, frum teh hill country ov efraim, has liftd up his hand against teh king, against david. Hand ovar dis wan man, an ill withdraw frum teh city." Teh woman sed 2 joab, "his head will be thrown 2 u frum teh wall."22 den teh woman went 2 all teh peeps wif her wize advice, an they cut off da head ov sheba son ov bicri an threw it 2 joab. So he soundd teh trumpet, an his doodz dispersd frum teh city, each returnin 2 his home. An joab went bak 2 teh king in jerusalem.23 joab wuz ovar israels entire army; benaiah son ov jehoiada wuz ovar teh kerethitez an pelethitez;24 adoniram [b] wuz in charge ov forcd labor; jehoshafat son ov ahilud wuz recordr;25 sheva wuz secretary of state; zadok an abiathar wuz priests;26 an ira teh jairite wuz davidz priest.

Teh Footnotez

  • a - 2 samuel 20:14 or abel, even beth maacah ; also in verse 15
  • b - 2 samuel 20:24 sum septuagint manuscripts (c also 1 kings 4:6 an 5:14 hebrew adoram
2 Samuel 20
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